Weekend Update

Boil Boil Trouble and Toil, contracts have come out, and now there is water in the oil. Thats right, things are going to get a little strained and murky in the water out here in mekoryuk as there are 5 employees for 3 positions. Its a multi-angled affair with different sides all having their own wants, desires and agendas. And then there is me, right in the middle...I HATE baby mama drama! If they only read my blog once in a while they would know where I stood on my future right!

MUSICAL ARTIST OF THE WEEK: brett dennen "hope for the hopeless" With great pain and frustration I share this artist with you today. A couple of years ago when I was an aspiring neophyte musician I had dreams of being a one man band and using looping station to create entire improvisational songs live and all by myself. Well when I saw Xavier Rudd and Keller Williams (not the artists of the week) for the first times I realized that someone had already filled that niche in the music world and that I would never be able to be that amazing. Then I saw Brett Dennen on Conan O'brien a couple of weeks ago. Dennen's red floppy hairdo and pale skin and bare feet immediately illicited a subtle judgment on my part. I thought he looked like a tool. Then I saw MatisYahu on stage with him, MatisYahu the Hacidic Jew Rapper, and I thought okay, he must be pretty cool. Then he started playing the sparkley "Make You Crazy" all about the injustices and atrocities going on in the world and how its enough to make you go crazy and how surprised he hadn't yet. It was a great song and performance. So I bought the album "Hope For the Hopeless." After I listened to this 2008 album I once again realized that someone out there is doing what I am hoping to do better than I'll ever do it. The heartfelt, change the world, explain the world, reflect on relationships and share the love, all from the perspective of a twenty something trying to figure it all out niche is fully and rightfully filled by Brett Dennen. He does it better, he does it shinier, he does it skillfully and it pisses me off how good he is because now I have to try something else. Anyways here are the lyrics to this amazing song.

You Know, It`s hard to be Yourself,
Free Yourself, To see Yourself,
When all around You there are Lies just to get You,
Spies just to get You, To Buy so they can get You?

There are Cameras in the sky, Lasers in our Living rooms,
There are Wolves watching wearing Sheep`s Costumes?

It`s Enough to make You go crazy (woah)
It`s Enough to make You Mad?
It`s Enough to make You go crazy (woah)
And, I`m amazed I Haven`t yet?

Isn`t It, A Shame The way We cheat Each other, Treat Each other, Beat Each other??
It`s, A Shame The way We use One other, Abuse One another?
And, Screw One another, It`s true.
They will Lock You up in Prison, But They won`t call it slavery, There are stolen Children raised and Trained in Armies?

It`s Enough to make You go crazy (woah)
It`s Enough to make You Mad?
It`s Enough to make You go crazy (woah)
And I`m amazed I haven`t yet?

Don`t hesitate to speak Your Mind? (speak Your Mind)
Never hesitate to speak Your Heart? (speak Your Heart)
They`ll call You crazy, When You speak Your Mind? (When You speak Your Mind)
So never, Never hesitate? (never hesitate)

`cause It`s Enough to make You go crazy? (woah)
It`s Enough to make You Mad?
It`s Enough to make You go crazy (woah)
And, I`m amazed I haven`t yet?

OLD PERSON PHRASE OF THE WEEK: "Chaps My Hide" or "Chaps my ass" You see when people get old their skin loses its ability to stay moist and thus their hind quarters often get chapped and apparently this is such a painfully annoying phenomenon that whenever something pisses and oldy off they often liken the experience to their very own demoisturized gluteus maximus.

WEATHER ON NUNIVAK ISLAND: After two weeks of intense wind and snow we are now a fluffy, hilly, snow drift laden town of mounds and holes and seemingly insurmountable treks. I have fallen on my ass several times on this particularly treacherous snowdrift outside my house.

PERSONAL ART UPDATE: If you've been wondering (which you probably weren't because the one thing no one ever asks me about is my music therefore leaving me to believe that it really isn't any good) I have been writing some new songs. I keep practicing every other day and I'm still moving forward with several ideas. I might have a chance to play at our school/community dance coming up in a few weeks (and I'm DJing hells yeah). But what I really need to tell you about is the knitting bug I have. I have been knitting up a storm lately. Of course I'm cheating because I have the knitting wheel but I have made three really cool hats so far. I have some pretty unique ideas for some hats. I have lots of yarn but I have been taking apart old hats that I don't like anymore and using their yarn for new hats.

BULLSHIT OF THE WEEK: I was involuntarily volunteered to play five on five basketball to help raise money for student council activities. Let me just say that I HATE BASKETBALL. It is a stupid sport. I can't stand watching it on tv. I can't stand playing it. I can't stand that its the only sport that the people on this island will ever play. Why can't we have an indoor soccer tournament? Or a Volleyball tournament? But no, basketball. So there I am, of my sacred free time (and I had to actually pay 10 dollars to play), and what happens? I get molested and assaulted up and down the court. Imagine if you can being in an entire gym full of Eskimo people, old elders, little kids, students, aunties and uncles and parents, all watching you one of the whities try to play a sport you hate playing while you get hacked by everyone and no one calls the fouls on you. I actually got really mad and even shoved someone when they came up and frontally raped me. I would be ashamed of myself except that the whole frustrating debacle was complete bullshit. I didn't even want to be there and then to get violated publicly really added insult to injury. I left right after the game and didn't go back. Thanks for nothing.

LASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLY: I'm going to enjoy this last short week of no responsibilities. We have Thurs/Friday off and an inservice on monday. I'm going to use this mini-pseudo-spring break to get a whole bunch of chores and tasks completed. Here's whats on the agenda.

Taxes, bleh!
Alaska Certification Class Assignments, bleh!
Resume, cover letter, reference letters to Tacoma Public School District, bleh!
Pack up some boxes and things I don't need, bleh!
Plan my new Geology Earth Science Unit, bleh!

That should be enough, if I can break myself away from the knitting and ukulele.


IF YOU HAVEN'T YET: Read the post below, it was a particularly good one!

Have a great week.

Snow Day and Free Thoughts

Well we got bitchslapped with another storm this morning making it rather dangerous for our littlest students to brave the frozen sideways sleet trek to school. We tried to delay but it never let up. So here I am with a half day to myself and I thought...You know what? I haven't just written for the sake of writing in a long time.

When I start to write for no reason, specifically because I have no reason, something usually happens. On the Phish "IT" DVD Mike Gordon and Page McConnell say that when Phish is on stage playing and they push a song to 9, 10, 14 even 19 minutes long a song and the moment is created that may have never been made if they hadn't persevered through the first 18 minutes, a special moment that will never happen again. Writing is the same way, sometimes if you just keep going you hit that moment where if you hadn't of continued you never would have gotten to that moment.

So here we are at the beginning of the song, the guitar is establishing the melody, the drum beat is steady, the bass and keys are pretty uniform and the song is recognizable, its another Radiate Warmth moment opening up right before your eyes.

You see, I feel like life is so much like a wavelength of light or sound. We specifically head in a direction with calculable speed and frequency. Our wave-life slices and up and down through space and time until it hits some immovable object and is ricocheted in a new direction. And depending on your own specific frequency, you have highs and lows in life. Some people have big sweeping waves of massive everest cresting highs and also deep deep ocean trench lows. Some people are even keel and their frequency is small and varies very little. Unlike a light wave I think we have the ability to manipulate and change our frequency size.

Andy Goldsworthy is a natural artist who uses nature to temporarily make pieces of art that will return to the nature from which they were made eventually. But in his DVD "Rivers and Tides" he is obsessed with these natural sweeping back and forth snaking lines that are found in all nature in rivers and water. So I think that Life is frequencies like this, yes, a frequency of highs and lows yes, but it is also a crazy varying wave that just follows the natural curves of the earth that we live one.

SO if life varies up and down indefinitely at a frequency that changes and in ways we might never really comprehend fully then how are we supposed to make it through this crazy thing called life? I think the best thing about waves is that they keep going, or rather coming too, but they are continual and if every time they come down they go back up then that is something you can bank on.

This is why I have such a spiritual connection to the ocean. The constant, never ending roll of waves is a truth of nature that you can see right before your eyes. You don't need god to explain why the ocean is so amazing, everyone feels it inside. Even on the smallest beach on the calmest of seas there are tiny waves.

The entire plight of life can be summarized in a wave. Even though it has been a long time in the making before it crashes on the shore and terminates it doesn't really die, it just becomes part of the whole of water that it was already a part of. We are just waves and even when we die we still remain a part of the greater thing that we were really just an extension of anyway.

Additionally, we can ride waves, we can harness nature and accelerate and enhance the experience. As much as I hate to use a surfing reference, I think I have to. Many surfers explain surfing as a spiritual practice not a sport and unless you've been out there and actually done it you'll never really get it. I've tried surfing, I got my ass kicked. Some dreadlocked Canadian in Byron Bay Australia told me that if I really wanted to get "Surfing" I needed to move somewhere with steady waves and just "surf" all day every day for a month, and that by the end of that month I would get it. I can't say I'm a ocean surfer.

But I'm a life wave surfer. Scratch that, I'm Big WAVE Life surfer. Somethings I've grown mature about and somethings I'll be infinitely immature. But one thing that I have been able to tune into as I've grown older and start listening better to is the natural frequencies and waves of my life. And when there is a big dip I know that its gonna rise again, I let myself sink down enough to really feel that low but not too far, its gonna get high again, because nature shows me it will everytime, that I have faith in, that I have seen with my eyes. No preacher need tell me about sin and right and wrong. No Guru need say the truths of the universe because they are right before our eyes. People have been making up ridiculous stories since the beginning of time to try and explain the same essential, eternal, THING that we all can simply see if we looked and we all FEEL it everyday.
SO when A Gigantic High Kick Ass Amazing Cresting Life WAVE comes towards me I turn my body around and start kicking and paddling into that big 'ol son of a bitch and body surf it till it hurdles me up on to the beach and I lay there exhausted, laughing and alive.

All this metaphor to explain the moments in life when you know something big is about to happen and you are ready for it. Thats me, thats where I'm at right now.

I know something big is happening I can feel it coming because I am a part of the whole universe and I can feel the wave coming. I am ready to be home. I am ready to be happy. I am ready to love my life and make music and art and grow my own food and dance in the grass and dirt and be with my family and friends in the sunshine and most importantly I am ready for love. And its a big wave yes, but I'm not scared for some reason. I feel like my whole life has been preparing me for the next couple of years of my life.

Laugh if you want. But 2012 is coming. Do you have your ducks in a row if everything you ever comprehended as possible in your life changes indefinitely? Are you ready for that moment? Are you with the people you want to be with if it goes down? Are you afraid of this moment? Or are you hopeful and willing? Do you inherently believe that humanity is good and in the end our existence here on this planet is for the better? I do, but I also recognize that my own belief in the goodness of humanity might be woven into my very own genetic fabric as a mechanism for me to not lose hope and keep on surviving. Belief in something better, in meaning, in love, its what makes us human. It is our greatest adaptation.

We exist and will keep on existing not because of our camouflaged fur or our razor sharp claws, but because we BELIEVE that we should. Just rest on that a minute.

So the question becomes if I am going to keep on existing because thats what we do as humans then how am I gonna live?

I don't know what other people want, but I want the things that make me feel good without hurting anyone. I like feeling good.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD:
Hugs from my brother
When my parents are happy
Falling in Love with a good woman
Dancing Barefoot with my friends
Swimming in the Ocean, a Lake, or River
Walking through the woods
Witnessing inspirational, positive, improvisational live music outdoors
Playing Music For People
Sitting on porches watching the world go by
Laying on roofs staring at the stars
Teaching people new things they never knew before (because someone taught you and you just wanna pass it along)
The smell of mountains
Creating something new and un-redo-able and never before seen
Watching Sunrises and Sunsets
Hugging Big Old Trees
Gathering berries
Eating Fruits and Vegetables
Talking with Strangers
and a good Kiss

So we've reached that moment in this song where I pushed through and got somewhere I never thought I would get when this post began, I made it to a beautiful place where I once again declared to the universe what I want. CAN YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE? I want this list. I want these things in my life always and forever.

What do you want? What makes you feel good?

I love you friends. Ride that wave next time around for me ok?

MY TRIP TO ANCHORAGE!!!

So it started when I barely got off the island due to high winds and freezing ice rain/fog.
But I made it! And I woke up the next day high up in one of them big buildings they talk about on the tv set!
After the conference was over I could have some fun. I went to Alyeska Ski Mountain in the tiny town of Girdwood, the sunrise drive along the water was breathtaking, albeit scary with my no studs front wheel drive chrysler sebring.
When I finally Started skiing I just couldn't believe how big the mountains were for only being 3500 feet high or so. And they just fell into the water it seemed.
I mean just look at it, it looks like you could ski right off the edge!
Later that night I stayed at the luxurious Captain Cook Hotel. What an amazing view of the sunset glinting off the buildings and the amazing sea beyond.
I got weathered in at Bethel and stayed at Julian and Molly's house. This little eskimo princess was my best friend all evening and was absolutely cute as hell.
And that was my Trip in picture form. I had a great time and of course there are a lot of things I left out, but you can't photograph everything.

Pretty cool huh!?!

HOLY CRAP WIND BATMAN WE'RE GETTING BLOWN AWAY

Last NIGHT:
65 mph wind are punishing our island, absolutely punishing it. I will have to dig myself out of my house tomorrow. When I walked the 50 yards to my house after school I could not see 5 feet in front of my face and had a pang of fear that I might get lost. Complete white out. The entire structure of our building is totally vibrating. Outside it looks like a white hurricane.

This MORNING:
So didn't have to dig myself out much. But we did have to dig our way into the school. Totally blown in. We delayed school an hour and a half while we dug into the school and got it accessible. This is so nice because It means I can chill out and drink coffee all morning and blog you my lovelies.

I will definitely write more tonight. But gotta go for now!

Homeostasis Returned

Last night I got home and after some rather frustrating answering machine messages from certain people I can't really stand dealing with, overwhelming emotions built up like all of my unfinished responsibilities, and a rough phone call home I officially had a break down. Its been so long since I had a good old fashioned freak out. And when I freak out I mean that pretty much lost it. SO MUCH shit was seemingly raining down upon me that I felt the need to pace around my apartment rubbing my head and talking to myself out loud. Follow that up with a shower that may or may not have involved crying and a night full of tormented sickening nightmare dreams and I woke up today feeling like I had survived a massacre.

Its the storm thats building that I don't like, the rippling stretch of water before the waterfall. I don't like the time before the change, because speculation is at an all time high, unexpected scenarios fill your mind, worrysome thoughts and could be's and shoulda been's, and the not knowing what is going to happen in your life despite your best of plans. I know that I make choices every day, but sometimes it feels like we aren't really in control of anything. Not to say that "something" is in control of me because that is equally ludicrous to me, if this is some beings idea of how life should be than that being is a sicko. I truly feel that we aren't in control of much but the more we try to the more we freak out.

But, I like the time of change itself, the moments of transition between the now and the future that has been in the works for months, because time and acceleration and plans get lost in the locomotion of life hurdling along until the rapids are over and you can breathe easy and rest in the smooth currents of time, all settled into the next phase of life.

Its at times like these that I really wish I could talk about everything in my life to this blog. Because of my job, and my career, and some of my choices in the past I can't really tell you all about the real parts of me that keep me going in life, that way me down, that drive me crazy and redeem me from sadness.

Today I'm ok though, it can't get worse than yesterday, and I did have some very timely help from a very positive person over the phone after I calmed down. You know who you are and you know how much your rule. Thanks for saving my ass last night and restoring me!

Yes people can ruin your day, or like last night they can save it too. There are good things going on out there. I just need to tap back into the flow of the good things.

Find the Good Things.

Heartfelt Return, Immediate Frustration

I made it back this morning landing on sunny beautiful Mekoryuk. Ralph the maintenance man picked me up on the snowmachine due to heavy snow over the weekend covering the road. I was smiling and feeling warm and happy inside as we scooted across the vast tundra toward the tiny blips of houses on the horizon. It all seemed so surreal and wonderful and I was jumpy with anticipation of my return home. I always feel so good when I am on a snowmachine its a shame I don't own one.

As I walked through the school everyone seemed so generally over joyed to have me back. When I walked into my class my two junior high girls were working independently and very very hard. I didn't even notice the train wreck of the room. I was so proud of them. I ate lunch with the kids and they all were laughing and making light of my return. It was so nice. I felt like I was truly home...

But that lasted all of 45 minutes. Then they came crashing and hurdling into class after lunch. I tried to show them all the cool things I got them over break, tell them about some of the things I did, I had them do a short write explaining reflecting on how/what they did while I was gone, we self graded all the work they did in my absence and checked out some websites that we had neglected. They were going crazy, fidgeting, antsy, googley, some sleeping and all pretty frustrating, at one point a 19 year old student took out a marker and wrote on a freshman girls forehead. It was all fun and games because hey I just got back no big deal right?

So then I sent them off to Cup'ig for a period while I frantically tried to put my room back together. The kids absolutely tore it apart and completely ignored my personal/private teacher area. I keep finding more and more evidence of their intrusions. I scooted to the post office in time to get all my awesome valentines packages, some tax info and a very very cool valentines postcard. I was instantly cheered up for about 5 minutes until health class started.

We do yoga for health class on mondays. Apparently last week went so badly that the kids were totally blowing it off today. No one was focusing, everyone was laying around and goofing off. I was pissed off big time, not exactly the type of emotions that yoga is supposed to create I know.

Then in PE the kids were slightly better but by this time I was so frustrated and pissed by the craziness of my kids and the state of my class room that I couldn't calm down. I have been cleaning the room for an hour and a half and finally it resembles how I left it.

Every time I start to feel guilty about what could happen next year if I leave, I have a moment just like this where I also feel like just walking away. For kids that missed me so much as they said they certainly didn't act like it.

So here I am, travel weary, 13 lab notebooks to grade, lesson plans to be made, clothes to wash, taxes to do, online classes to finish, and special gifts to mail, Europe trips to plan, and I'm totally effing stressed as shit and I can't shake this feeling that the world is crashing down around me.

Its getting to the point where I can't neglect some of these things any longer. I need a vacation from myself. So I don't really know what I'm gonna do. I could go home and work on all these projects and really start to get my life on track

or

I could go home and make some of Sydney's special vanilla red tea she sent me, play some xBox 360, play some ukulele, and fall asleep watching the netflix I got in the mail while knitting and smelling my new superhit Nag Champa incense.

Hmmmm...WWMHD? what would my heroes do?

Bob Marley would rip a fatty J and play a show. (How about a cup of TheraFlu and solitary Ukulele jam for me maybe?)
Jim Morrison would take his shirt off and dance in a circle like a raven. (Shirt off yes, dance yes, folding clothes yes also)
Ken Kesey would drink some silly orange juice and paint his entire living room to resemble the moment the universe was born (I can't really come close on this one but sometimes thats how a shower feels after a long trip).
Jack Kerouac would drink a jug of port and spew intellectual bullshit to the stars before falling asleep, lips purple and alone. (No port, but I'm spewing enough bullshit on my blog to check this one off and I have chapped lips).
Michael Franti would probably do some yoga, inspire a nation of youth to change for the better and then have a vegan dinner. (Yoga check, inspiring youth check minus, vegan dinner not exactly sure what veggies made it through my vacay).
Xavier Rudd would take a walk through some wilderness and save a baby animal from certain peril. (I'm gonna walk fifty yards to my house and try not to kill anything in between).

Welcome Home I guess. Sheesh.

Weekend Update Lite

I'm stuck in Bethel due to bad winds on the island. My friend Julian put me up and I spent a very nice very happy quiet evening with his amazing family. Molly made halibut, red beans and rice, reindeer fat snow eskimo ice cream and oatmeal cookies with real milk. We watched movies, played with the kids, and even though I've been homeless for officially 9 days it was really nice to just spend a sunday with someone.

Musical Artist of the Week: As I drifted in and out of sleep on the plane from anchorage to bethel, the sweet sounds of the newish Wilco album "Sky Blue Sky" absolutely rocked my world. The deep sense of confusion and melancholy that seems to surround my recent internal laments was so perfectly expressed through these songs in a way that also said "Yes life is kind of skrewed up but that doesn't mean we can't have a rippin' guitar solo." Wilco, you saved me today.

Old Person Phrase of the Week: "Horse Shit" I wanted to go home today, well la de freakin da looks like that plan is absolute horse shit.

Weather On Nunivak Island: With freezing rain and winds gusting to 40 knots I don't think it would have been good to fly today. Hopefully the weather will hold tomorrow morning because I hear another storm is coming in and I am pretty tired of the transient lifestyle, I'm on my last clean pair of undies.

Movies I Saw this Week:
Slumdog Millionaire: Finally got around to this critically acclaimed movie and although my trendiest of friends poo pood it, I thought it was exciting, shocking in a poverty sort of way, and really really beautiful.
The International: This movie was tolerable. I liked the Clive Owen character being a desheveled no gun or karate skills sort of hero and I thought the shoot out scene at the Gougenhem was very incredible but I just have come to expect so much from the directer Thomas Tykwer who did Run Lola Run, The Princess and the Warrior, and Perfume. Kind of a let down for me.
He's Just Not That Into You: And I just wasn't that into this movie. Don't get me wrong, it has tons of funny parts, Scarlet Johansen is beautiful and the Macintosh guy is pretty funny. But the movie went on for ever. The thing I love about chick flicks is that they are short, have predictable endings, and you get a nice 86 min chunk of your life taken care of without feeling too jipped. This movie felt like 2 hours long. Oddly enough though, it does have some very sobering information for guys and girls out there on just exactly might be going through the minds of those people we hate to love or love to hate...the opposite sex.

Lastly but not Leastly: Sorry for the short weekend update but I'm tired and transient and sore as hell from skiing on friday (pics still to come!). Today was a great sunday though because I spent it with people instead of alone in my apartment in Mekoryuk like usual. Tomorrow I will either spend the day trying to get back to mekoryuk in Grant Aviation (free wifi though) or at the District Office trying to avoid the ever present ominance that is a day stuck in bethel working at the DO. If I get stuck again I'll just have to visit some more friends tomorrow.

Still kickin though. Stay Classy Out there.

Anchorage For One More Day

After hearing some weather reports from my principal I decided to change my tickets so I could come back on Sunday. As you know being stuck in Anchorage is way more interesting and enjoyable than being stuck in Bethel.

I am so unbelievably sore from my solo ski adventure to Alyeska yesterday. I'll post pics when I return but holy crap what an amazing sight to see, the mountains were so huge.

Right now I'm staying at the Captain Cook and it is so much more kick ass than the snobby Sheraton with their extra fees!

I saw Slumdog Millionaire on thursday and it was pretty good. I'm going to go see Gran Turino in an hour or so.

I let you all know what is up

Consumer Time

Today I was a total consumer.

It started very early. I got up at about 10 packed up and checked out of the Sheraton and got into my 2008 Silver Chrysler Sebring. Now if you could pick the most ridiculous ride for me in the world you could not pick anything worse than this car. Not only is it front wheel drive but said front wheel driving wheels have no studs. My trip to Alyeska tomorrow to go skiiing should be a arduous journey to say the least...but I digress.

So then I went down town to the Giant Atwood Building to give the Alaska Permanent Fund people a copy of my passport so that maybe I'll get some PFD cash this year.

With the thought of over 3,000 smackers hopefully on the way I went on a spending spree. I then drove out to Dimond Center and proceeded to walk directly into a very large very boxy very horrible place that I promised myself I'd never go.

There I was able to find many things I needed. A large plastic bat w/ whiffle ball, ping pong paddles, net and balls, knitting yarn (5 colors) and wheels because I'm gonna be a knitter now, 6 colors of duct tape, post its, scissors, coffee, a tote box, Fifa Soccer 2009 for my xBox360, assorted juices and coffees, laundry detergent and believe me this list could go on. Needless to say I went in for Ping Pong stuff and came out 236 dollars later. Damn Yous big box mart.

But my need to purchase wasn't quenched. I went to the Dimond Center Mall, a dirty, outdated mall with an ice rink in the middle. I like to go to the mall to check in with the status of middle class America. Stores like the Gap and Zumiez allow a clear view of where American youth is and where they are going. Today I noticed that the flourescent 80's FAD is in full swing and might in fact be wearing down. Once a new fashion becomes completely accessible for everyone then it usually dies off. We went from the 70's revival when I was in high school/college to the 80's up through now. Yep, you guessed it, The nineties are on the horizon, grunge era flannels and bowl cuts, as well as gold, silver, and Hammer pants, its gonna be ugly.

I walked around, bought and orange julias, got a hat at Pacific Sunwear, and Afro Samurai the Video Game at Gamespot. Then I went to this sweet hippie bead store and bought hemp yarn and Nag Champa.

So between today and the little spree yesterday where I bought a jacket and tea and incense I am looking at a ton of consumer goods. Things that I don't necessarily need but that I wanted because I'm a selfish mindless American too sometimes. I thought that since I had already committed the nastiest sacrilege of all hippiedome today I should also eat at McDonald's to really seal the deal. But as I sat parked outside of it I just couldn't pull the trigger, I couldn't do it. I hate McDonalds's too much.

I also managed to go into REI and not buy anything which was extremely hard for me emotionally.

So I have limits. Big Box Mart once a year, standard mall 3 times a year, McDonald's NEVER!

So as I sit in Kaladi Brothers Fine Fine Fine coffee shop, drinking and Americano, typing on my intranet thing a ma jig, talking on my cell phone and checking my myspace, I'm including you in this very real moment not because I'm proud but to remind myself and anyone who reads this that I'm not perfect.

But I do love coffee.

Sharks and Antelopes

So today I'm gonna talk about sharks and antelopes. All around this conference I see sharks. Now it may be hard for you to believe this, but people have actually found a way to make a buttload of money off of people trying to help special educated kids. In case you didn't know, being able to read (or especially not being able to read) is a disability that supports a multi-million dollar business. Since reading affects not only reading books, but the internet, math problems, social studies/biology/discipline texts, it basically is the crux of the entire achievement problem. Being able to read academic english is pretty much the only way to succeed in traditional american schooling.

The sharks know this. They work for companies that know this. And like any company, they design, modify, and market their product. Then they search the murky waters of educational conferences picking up the scent of blood in the water. A wounded fish perhaps, too many breakout sessions has got the fish weary and scared. The sharks separate the fish as she's leaving the keynote address in the morning and coax her by the cheesy propane fireplace in the lobby to review the "product."

BAM! Two hour long sales presentation ensues, the shark wins, other sharks start circling, regional managers, other reading programs..."Get away from my FISH." RAAAAAAR (if sharks could growl underwater). This shark had a cheesy power suit on, Days of our Lives Hair, and bleached white teeth. Her victim was a small fish, a special ed teacher. But then just as the sharks were about to sink their bleached white teeth into the little fish, after all that talking and all that the oohing and aawing the little fish teacher said "Well I'll have to check with my Special Education Director she's the one with the money." Dun Dun DUUUUUUN little fish gets away! Muhahahahahaha

In other news this is my last day at the hotel. I'll be staying with a friend of the family tonight and some friends from LKSD in for Technology Conference this weekend. I'm really tired for some reason. Oh yeah, mental bludgeoning. The weather has been incredible bad in Bethel so hopefully I won't have any troubles when I get back on Saturday.

Today I'm going shopping! On the list of necessary items is good coffee, a large whiffle ball bat with whiffle balls, ping pong net and balls, and xbox 360 video games. A peculiar list I know but all particularly interesting!

Have a good one!