Thursday, February 19, 2009

Consumer Time

Today I was a total consumer.

It started very early. I got up at about 10 packed up and checked out of the Sheraton and got into my 2008 Silver Chrysler Sebring. Now if you could pick the most ridiculous ride for me in the world you could not pick anything worse than this car. Not only is it front wheel drive but said front wheel driving wheels have no studs. My trip to Alyeska tomorrow to go skiiing should be a arduous journey to say the least...but I digress.

So then I went down town to the Giant Atwood Building to give the Alaska Permanent Fund people a copy of my passport so that maybe I'll get some PFD cash this year.

With the thought of over 3,000 smackers hopefully on the way I went on a spending spree. I then drove out to Dimond Center and proceeded to walk directly into a very large very boxy very horrible place that I promised myself I'd never go.

There I was able to find many things I needed. A large plastic bat w/ whiffle ball, ping pong paddles, net and balls, knitting yarn (5 colors) and wheels because I'm gonna be a knitter now, 6 colors of duct tape, post its, scissors, coffee, a tote box, Fifa Soccer 2009 for my xBox360, assorted juices and coffees, laundry detergent and believe me this list could go on. Needless to say I went in for Ping Pong stuff and came out 236 dollars later. Damn Yous big box mart.

But my need to purchase wasn't quenched. I went to the Dimond Center Mall, a dirty, outdated mall with an ice rink in the middle. I like to go to the mall to check in with the status of middle class America. Stores like the Gap and Zumiez allow a clear view of where American youth is and where they are going. Today I noticed that the flourescent 80's FAD is in full swing and might in fact be wearing down. Once a new fashion becomes completely accessible for everyone then it usually dies off. We went from the 70's revival when I was in high school/college to the 80's up through now. Yep, you guessed it, The nineties are on the horizon, grunge era flannels and bowl cuts, as well as gold, silver, and Hammer pants, its gonna be ugly.

I walked around, bought and orange julias, got a hat at Pacific Sunwear, and Afro Samurai the Video Game at Gamespot. Then I went to this sweet hippie bead store and bought hemp yarn and Nag Champa.

So between today and the little spree yesterday where I bought a jacket and tea and incense I am looking at a ton of consumer goods. Things that I don't necessarily need but that I wanted because I'm a selfish mindless American too sometimes. I thought that since I had already committed the nastiest sacrilege of all hippiedome today I should also eat at McDonald's to really seal the deal. But as I sat parked outside of it I just couldn't pull the trigger, I couldn't do it. I hate McDonalds's too much.

I also managed to go into REI and not buy anything which was extremely hard for me emotionally.

So I have limits. Big Box Mart once a year, standard mall 3 times a year, McDonald's NEVER!

So as I sit in Kaladi Brothers Fine Fine Fine coffee shop, drinking and Americano, typing on my intranet thing a ma jig, talking on my cell phone and checking my myspace, I'm including you in this very real moment not because I'm proud but to remind myself and anyone who reads this that I'm not perfect.

But I do love coffee.


Erin said...

Thanks for not eating at McDonald's. I was truly scared as I read this post. I kept thinking "NO KALE! DON'T DO IT! DON't...whew"

See you tomorrow! How does some Brewhouse action sound before Hells Belles?

Hal Iverson said...

haha. When I was in France, the group of teacher that I was with ws tired of trying to order in french and struggling with menus. So they asked, "should we just go to McDonalds? its cheap, its easy, its quick." I said "sure, whatever you guys want," being that I had just eaten the baguette that I took from the hostel at breakfast and was not going to eat. As we were walking towards it I said "wait guys. I dont know if I can allow this. We are in France! Is it really that much more to go to the cafe right next door and get a sandwich?" (Literally next door). I got em! Convinced em to go somewhere else. You lose this time McDouche!

Randall H. Sloot said...

You should knit me a hat. Suzye is obviously never going to get around to it. How is afro samurai? Sounds like it could be fun. Also, hearing about you playing a soccer game reminded me of you and brian playing at the old house, hilarious!

earth-rabbit said...

Yay, knitting and Afro Samurai!

Corinna said...

Maybe this is old news but did you cut your hair?! Also, where is Giant Beard? (it was giant enough to deserve capitals)

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