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I'm Over it.

Well its been a minute. What is there to say. We did all the things. We quarantined. We washed our groceries. We avoided our families and friends. We found a new normal. Around the house we got a lot done. Thankful to have a paycheck. It has been sad to see so few students pop in and check in as well as so many seniors just kind of disappear. I keep building lessons, holding office hours, checking teams and trying to engage students but they are just simply gone. A lot of people are aching to go back to normalcy. It will never be normal again. We've been able to see family and friends at a distance. Its odd. So few new cases and now they are opening things back up. All the countries and states that have are seeing spikes again. No vaccine in site. Even if we get one it might be a while off and it might not work on all mutations. Can't get a diagnostic test unless you have it. 3/14 Antibody tests are significant and that only tell you if you likely had it not if you're immune. People are re-testing positive if they already had it including a bunch of sailors on a navy boat. So we don't/won't know if we had it, or if we have had it if it offers any protection. Because of the procedures put in place we didn't get a hospital surge or crazy death spike so now people are venturing back out. It will happen eventually. Our political situation isn't good. If a vaccine is developed a bunch of people won't take it. Those who do will have to decide if they trust who's putting it out. It is crazy to think the whole world is in some sort of conspiracy. It just isn't realistic. So it real, we're handing it, but there is a list of things that we don't do anymore. We don't eat out. We don't order in. We don't go to concerts or gatherings. We don't hug our mommies. We don't go to school. We don't send our kids to school. We do go to parks. We do cook at home. We do finish projects around the house. We do garden a lot more. We sleep a lot more. We feel pretty good. We are losing weight. I just don't really know how to make sense of it all anymore. We are so bored. Our yard and garden was our eden and now it is a bit of a prison. Even writing about it seems stupid. I'm so sick of these phrases: Uncertain times. Troubling Times. Unprecedented times. The election is in so much trouble and so important. I just can't watch the news anymore. As with climate change, scientific literacy seems to be the problem. People don't understand anything, can't read graphs, let their beliefs stand in place for numbers, and when it doesn't line up it must be a conspiracy. So if some of us are going to follow the rules and do what we are supposed to and the other half of the country is gonna cram into red robin and hobby lobby and reinfect us all over again than what is the point? Over it.

Aphids and Viruses in a Greenhouse Offer us Clues to our own Story Arc

Managing a commercial greenhouse has oddly prepared me for understanding the current Covid situation. Greenhouses are incubators for pathogens and problems and pests. We grow different species of plants in different tables in large numbers and when we are attacked with different plant pests they can spread rapidly in the artificial world we have created. Aphids our the biggest enemy. They appear without fail this time of year. They usually pop up in predictable places like fuchsias, peppers, tomatoes. The first step is careful monitoring (testing). We track daily each day where the aphids are and how badly they are spreading. We mark them with flags so its easier to find. We check plants down fan wind from them as they aren't good flyers and we see if they've spread. This is really important because if you don't know it they can spread rapidly overnight.They reproduce rapidly and spread to adjacent plants and areas. They give birth to clone daughters who are already pregnant with the next generation. That's right they give birth to their daughters and grandaughters simultaneously. You miss a plant on a friday and come back on a monday and bam you got a problem. Kind of like how if you sleep on an area with Covid and don't act right away it doesn't take long and you got a problem. The first thing we can do is to isolate and quarantine the plants. We do our best to get them out of the greenhouse and outside. The outside temps will knock them back a bit and maybe down the line they'll recover but not for sale. We also can manually "wash" them with dish soap and water. We don't use pesticides or chemicals but those do exist. The problem with those is that they are already all up in your shit at that point so you're just knocking numbers back not solving the problem. At somepoint we get overran. There is nothing much we can do but sell the plants, turn up the heat in the greenhouse and cook em out. Then it becomes a triage. What is so bad that we can't use it or sell it and we have to put it outside and let it die. I think if you squint your eyes and mind on these last words you can fretfully find the metaphors here. Take aways here: 1.) Testing and monitoring 2.) Isolation and quarantine 3.) Soap and Water and natural remedies 4.) Triage 5.) Chemicals We also do a lot of stuff before the plants arrive to prepare for the invasion including sanitation and what not, putting black plastic down to eliminate eggs from previous years. We also have learned from the past about what will happen, where it will happen, when it will happen and how we can immediately deal with it through massive monitoring and testing and quarantine. Those are our best friends. Apply this to what is happening in our country/world and you can see how a greenhouse aphid invasion and a global viral pandemic are not all that much different.

All Clear for....Staying the same

We cleared our 14 day and have added almost another week in quarantine. Hard ass quarantine. We havent been to the grocery store, gotten take out or delivery and had supplies delivered three times taking embarrassing amount of caution to clean and receive our acquisitions. _____ We've had some hard days. We started so early on the quarantine it feels like we might be processing the insanity a few days ahead of others. That is isolating in its own way. I sometimes wish we would have waited a week so we could be on everyone elses schedule. ____ Some good things. Biggie's Grateful Dead performances on the couch and porch. Tons of gardening work and food systems building at home. Delicious dinners and losing weight from not eating. Somehow saving money even though we've lost income. Zoom meetings with friends and family are getting better and more fun. This stupid app Marco Polo is like a live group video walkie talkie and its helping keep us connected. Biggie is talking a lot and sleeping through the night. Walking around the neighborhood. _____The greenhouse is a struggle. Where do we put all these plants? We were bug free till yesterday when I discovered a major aphid bloom. Food is free, Hilltop Urban Gardens and soon the Salishan community will benefit from the veggies and maybe even the school lunch give aways. ____I think things are gonna get worse unfortunately. The death tolls are spiking up. Washington seems to be ok for a bit but I feel like we need to fight this like a war as a country. If we have like 50 different states fighting it differently and with each other for resources its just gonna move from state to state. ____We desperately miss our families. This is the time to be extra safe. Our Peak day in washington is about two weeks out so It's no time to break the party line and get yourself sick. Stay safe homies.

OK DAY! (Sort OF)

Today we are ok quarantine wise its been 14 days without a confirmed exposure event on the last day of school. Other possible exposure events include visiting greenhouse (albeit alone), grocery deliveries and walks around the neighborhood. We learned that it can live on surfaces for 9+ days and the freezer don't kill it. It just preserves it. Yikes. We have to take all the shit out of the freezer and bleach it, thaw and drain the freezer and then sterilize it. Yaaaay. ______School statewide and school districts still don't know what to do. Seniors seem to be the focus. The generation seniors started their lives amid 9-11 and are finishing school in Covid Outbreak. They will have an asterisk by their names for years to come. Basically I think they are going to make it whatever your grades were before the shutdown, let you make up work, and wave a bunch of stuff. After that I don't know. I don't know how packing 1500 kids into a big box high school is going to be reasonable for a while now. _____I also think about the kids who graduated now are around now and the lives they led up until this point. We were already seeing massive complaints from the world of work and most industries that their generation was struggling to show up on time, show up regularly, and to stick with jobs and companies for very long. It is just so easy to sit at home and play video games and get lost in our devices. How will the kids born a couple years ago till now and for the next couple of years be defined? The generation Z is both oddly equipped to stay home and chill and also it will be their biggest issue. When going outside and seeing others has been stripped away do you think they will appreciate it, school, life outside in general, after this is over? I don't know. _____I write from our new and evolving office. We have the whole upstairs getting retooled for play, crafts, costumes, music and a work station. That along with the yard coming together we have a lot to keep up busy. Biggie is talking so much. We are a good little unit. Ups and downs every day but we're holding on. Now that we are likely clear (especially by Monday) what will we do with our new found freedom? Nothing. Either we haven't had it and can still get it or we have had it and didn't know it and are immune for a while. SARS folks enjoyed nearly 10 years ish of immunity. MERS only a couple years. This likely won't last more than a year till the next version comes along. The hammer and dance method is going to become a reality and closures will roll around like snow delays and closures till a vaccine comes along. Even then the anti vaxxers will be up in arms. _____Things that I'm going to appreciate if and when this is over: My kid playing with other kids. Not having to smell or touch bleach as regularly, sitting at a restaurant, grocery shopping, live music.

Stages of Belief and Disbelief

Today the governor will likely announce shelter in place. I'm waffling between one day feeling like its so nice and beautiful out and I can hang out and do yardwork and chill for ever and then the next day super worried about what the new world we are living in will be like. The reality is really freaky. We are in this for 18 months at least. Someday we will have a morning quarantine report like the weather report. When our numbers in our hospitals start to strain they will shut down areas to aid for a time and this will go on for months to come. It will be like a snow storm but a quarantine storm. People aren't taking it seriously still. It's living on metal for 3 days and cardboard for 24 hours. All these people thinking take out is safe are insane. Brooklyn Amazon workers shut their own factory down after being forced to work in infected conditions. New York is 2-3 weeks away from running out of supplies. They are calling para educators in our school district in to run 1st responder's kids camp even if that isn't their specialty. Who knows what they have in mind for teachers next week. Its looking like Professional development and calling home. Mind you paras get paid like nothing as do our custodians and food service staff but they are on the front lines. Most are older as well so how will that work? Grocery workers and food service people on the front lines. They didn't sign up to be in the army. They got drafted accidentally and inoculated without consent. The rest of us privileged people are still sitting in our comfy homes pretending everything is ok. ______ We are on day 7 of our quarantine in our house. Been 7 days since last credible possible exposure. Still feel ok. Sunshine helps. Happy we chose to self quarantine now that news that people in school were carrying or exposed or presumptive positive. I'm just going to assume I have it or have had it and will operate as such till next week. Then once "clear" every day is another chance to start our Zero clock over. So many people out there aren't even on a zero clock yet. _____ I have no idea what to do with the greenhouse. If we get a shelter in place today I don't know what that means for my allowed travel. The perennials can go outside where they'll get rain. the annuals can go in the lower greenhouse and I can attempt to put timer spray sprinklers on them. The greens/veggies can be planted now along with the herbs. Once I'm clear I can get them out to the community or plant them on the farm...for no one. ____ Communicating with students online is sad, uplifting and also heartbreaking. Some say they miss me, some say they love being out of school, some are worried about the plants, some are sick of it, some are scared and want me to predict the future. I'm trying to stay positive but the reality is that things going back to the way they used to be is highly unlikely. ____ One thing that trips me out is that animals are returning to metropolis' world wide. Dolphins in canals in Italy. We may actually be able to measure how this shutdown impacted global CO2 levels. We may be able to actually understand climate change better after this. Bill Nye has a beautifully elegant solution to climate change which is to teach all young children how climate change works. Once the world is full of literate children they can solve it. If we take this opportunity to teach our young people how science, our bodies, virus', climate change, works then they might figure it out after we all take a big long break. ____What will the world, America, and life look like after this break. The US plan that was released and then analyzed by MIT puts us at 18 months. By that time who knows new strains might emerge. I think we should take time to mourn the loss of the life we once new and take time to craft what our lives will look like in this new world. We're all going through the grief cycles in our own processing time. Denial, anger, depression, negotiating, acceptance. Where are you? ____ Happy Friday.

Here at the Covid, Covid Cabana

The toughest part is going to be the social isolation. I love people. We love being with people. We love eating out and going to get coffee and being with our family and friends. _______Do you know what is really a trip about this? Young people. Not kids so much but many kids younger and younger are already prepared for this. So many young people already stay indoors all day playing fortnite, snapchat, mindless videogames, tik tok and other social media. They already communicate this way. They are already socially distant from each other. They already don't go to concerts or gatherings anymore and are increasingly uninterested in nature or being outside. Many of them communicate only online well and the person to person interactions each day are the strained and akward ones. Could I lay in bed on my phone for days on end? No. That would make me crazy. Could I live off of hot cheetohs and Redbull and flip my sleep schedule so that I could get into the hottest late night videogame battles or endlessly surf youtube till I fall asleep at 4 am. No. But I know about a thousand young people who not only can but do that regularly already. They already don't even really date. They instead get together, get jealous and break up over simply liking the wrong person's post on Instagram. The entire relationship existing over the internet. They already are dancing and sword fighting their way through virtual worlds in the dark alone but connected. Is it a way of life I can do or want for Biggie? No. It is just crazy that young people are largely un impacted and they already know how to socially isolate. You can't make this stuff up. Meanwhile people are complaining online that they can't get their Boomer parents to stop going out in public or going on cruises. Before the internet human to human contact was essential as air. ______It makes me think of the trips my grandfather would take me on in Omak called "going to town." We'd go to all the places in town for really no utilitarian reason. It was exhaustively and wonderfully long and we would go under the guise of "needing" something in town. But we didn't. We needed to go to the Pub to have "coffee" with the fellas. We needed to go to the bank to check our safety deposit box (nothing changed). We needed to go to the hardware store to get a nut and a washer but really we just wanted to stand an bullshit with the Ace Hardware guys. We needed to go to the post office to send something off to someone for some reason that probably wasn't essential to survival. We needed to go to the grocery store for Winston's, Carlo Rossi and scratch tickets. We didn't need any of those things at all to survive but we did it every day. Those are the things I'm missing the most and its only day 3! Biggie is still a little two young to truly understand what I understood being toted around by my grampa but not too young by much. In the summer I take him everywhere and do my best impression of my grampa everywhere I go. I want Biggie to learn how to speak old people. I want Biggie to know that his dad has a friend or a buddy or a homie in every store he goes and that people are nice and small talk is worth it. This stupid virus is going to ruin that for a while. ______How do we replace that from a distance. How do we replace a handshake, a hug, and a chuckle. I delivered some vegetables from the farm today to a friend and had to talk from 15 feet away. It was good to see him but it is also tragic. The only conversation for the next half a year will be Carona this, Covid that, can you believe it this, did ya hear that? _____ And all these people out and about town. This is how they make money. This is how we get paid. If this goes on long enough and gets weird enough and we somehow stop getting paid to be teachers am I ready to make a living some other way? I am ready to barter. What can I make, grow, amass and trade? What do I actually need? ______Also. Who is going to enforce all the missed payments? There aren't any dudes in a Wellsfargo stagecoach with a guy riding shotgun protecting the loot inside who are going to come get you in this scenario if you don't pay your credit cards or mortgage. Chase isn't going to come take your car away. Just cough on them. Your landlord can't evict everybody. They can't take everybody's stuff back. If they do they'll get sick too. Money is so weird to me right now. They can shut your gas and power off though so keep paying that one. I'm being dramatic but these are the thoughts on only day three. _____I was looking forward to taking a break from my job (as I do in summer) but now I'm feeling very responsible for the greenhouse and all the food, plants, and potential inside. I'm worried it will get broken into making it compromised to go in. Hell the maintenance dudes were in there working on the heater today and I didn't even want to be in the same space as them and now I feel like I need to sterilize everything so I can get my bliss back. This is ridiculous. Once a day I feel like I just throw my hands up and say I can't believe this. But then each day about a hundred times I actually can and do believe this because it makes so much sense. _____So I'm home. Ready for the afternoon sun to warm up the yard so we can work on our next project trying to keep occupied. We'll turn up the Grateful Dead once more and turn our faces to the setting sun and hope we make it to what we're calling "OK Day." It is 14 days from our last potentially compromising community contact. That day happens to be our wedding anniversary on the 29th. Touche Life here at the Covid, Covid Cabana...

Who knew Wearing Nitrile Gloves in Target makes you crazy? We will Get By.

I'm the only person I know that has already voluntarily isolated themselves for a long period of time. This entire blog up to this point is filled with the much younger less woke version of myself when I was in Alaska figuring out how to make it through extreme amounts of solitary time. Other than Christmases and Summers I was essentially on my own for the rest of the time in my little village walking around in the weather alone, picking berries, fishing, making music, writing a dumb blog. _____________________________ What has changed? Everything. Nothing. _________________________________ This time I'm in a self imposed quarantine with my wife Katie and my son Biggie in our home in Tacoma. This time I am trying to navigate the new world that will be born out of this COVID-19 pandemic. ____________________________ There is no where to start that will be an easy entry so I will simply just start. Jack Kerouac style. Just write. Don't think. Minus the Dexedrine plus the IPA. __________________________ To backtrack I had this pandemic nailed two weeks ago. My "crazy" cousin Dave had it pegged a month ago. I used to look at his facebook posts and think what a whacko. Today I was the only one in all of Tacoma Target wearing any gloves or protective equipment and people were looking at me like I was a lunatic. Maybe I am. I am the blue nitrile glove wearing lunatic buying vodka (multiple uses), batteries, coffee tequila, whiskey and a pair of shark/pizza/donut pajamas for Biggie. People just hanging out in Target trying to act like buying the last paper towel rolls on the shelf as a substitute TP is normal while sucking down another (maybe their last) Starbucks. _________________________ The problem as I see it right now is that most people aren't scientifically literate. Most people don't read graphs. Most people don't want to believe something of this magnitude will happen. My brain started to ripen to it when I first started getting info on it. Everything actually makes sense. A new virus transmitted from an bat apparently (not the US government I'm not a conspiracy theorist), attacking the old, sparing the young, growing exponentially. Those living in police states that actually do what their government's tell them finding a way to combat it and us in the US woefully prideful and free ignoring science on par with our ignorance with climate change. We get to be American kick ass free the rest of the time and that is what makes this country great I guess but when it comes to following simple instructions we kind of suck at it. Living in other countries where a more totalitarian and draconian government controls you sucks the rest of the time but when its time to follow the rules it does serve it's function. So here we are free as hell but not for the next six weeks. _________________________ This is where the story begins at home. The first day off of many to come. We had to get last minute supplies including batteries, coffee, vodka (dual purposes as hand sanitizer and... well... cocktails). Everyone in Target was quietly peacefully panicking and simultaneously not ready to accept it. An old lady who shouldn't even be out asking the pharmacist what aisle the hand sanitizer was on and he un-exhausted by his impending future still able to muster a bit of a chuckle as he told the elder they were all out. __________________________ We gassed up the van. Rambling Rosie is her name. A brick red 96' Dodge B350 with a 28 gallon tank that is brick red with a dent in the tail. We have to put Biggies car seat in the front seat so we look extra prepper sketchy. I was pleased the beast was driving so well after a long winter sitting. We took extra precautions getting in and out of the van. We also stopped at Marlene's for Mycocommunity Extract, Elderberry/Echinacea Extract, and for some reason I bought some Tibetan Prayer flags. Odd choice for an Atheist I know but I like the colors and don't judge ok? ________________________________ Our Day one plan was to finalize all trips to society and start executing our plan ______________________________ 3/14 Pie Day Schedule (Its Saturday) Sleep in till 7 Snuggle and watch Grateful Dead Videos with Biggie till 8am Make coffee and eat breakfast and dance till 9ish Target Run (see above) 11:30 Nap Time (he took a long one thankfully) Noon: BEER! Falafal from Marlenes. Clean out and organize Pantry, Food, Containers, Bags. Clean out and organize and inventory medicine, first aid, cleaning supplies and household items. Only one lightbulb dammit. Way way way too much Ibuprofen, children's Tylenol and Pepto Bismol. Seriously. 2pm Wake up, dance, vacuum. 3:30 Go upstairs and make beats with Biggie, read 5 Dr. Seuss books (Oh the Thinks you can think). Dance Play music. 4:45 go outside (BRRRRR) Harvest lettuce and greens and Kale florets for dinner and juicing. 5Pm Biggie Decides its time to Perform "Touch of Grey" with his pretend mic stand and Grateful Dead Ukulele karaoke style on the front porch for the entire empty neighbor hood. (This may become a nightly ritual especially as the weather warms. 6pm Tricycle indoors! Go ahead and break all the rules homeboy. 7pm Katie made an amazing dinner: Potato mash with chicken bone broth, steam kale florets and garden salad from our garden. 8pm Night Night Big Boy (I love you most I love you best much much more than all the rest). 9pm Beer and blogging and news and facebook/twitter/ 10pm fell asleep on the couch watching Rachel Maddow. _____________________________________ Take always from our first day. Grateful Dead song lyrics are surprisingly apropos for these heady times. Several songs in particular: Throwing Stones: I mean really just read this shit its hard to believe someone wrote this. Click HERE to watch on youtube _____________________________________________________ Picture a bright blue ball just spinning, spinning free Dizzy with eternity Paint it with a skin of sky, brush in some clouds and sea Call it home for you and me A peaceful place, or so it looks from space A closer look reveals the human race Full of hope, full of grace, is the human face But afraid we may lay our home to waste There's a fear down here we can't forget Hasn't got a name just yet Always awake, always around Singing ashes, ashes, all fall down Ashes, ashes, all fall down Now watch as the ball revolves and the night-time falls And again the hunt begins and again the blood wind calls By and by, again, the morning sun will rise But the darkness never goes from some men's eyes (Well I know) It strolls the sidewalk and it rolls the streets Staking turf, dividing up meat Nightmare spook, piece of heat It's you and me, you and me Click flash blade in ghetto night Rudy's looking for a fight Rat cat alley, roll them bones Need that cash to feed that Jones And the politicians throwing stones Singing ashes, ashes, all fall down Ashes, ashes, all fall down Commissars and pinstripe bosses roll the dice Anyway they fall, guess who gets to pay the price? Money green, or proletarian gray Selling guns instead of food today So the kids they dance and shake their bones And the politicians throwing stones Singing ashes, ashes, all fall down Ashes, ashes, all fall down Heartless powers try to tell us what to think If the spirit's sleeping then the flesh is ink History's page will be neatly carved in stone The future's here, we are it, we are on our own On our own, on our own, we are on our own If the game is lost, then we're all the same No one left to place or take the blame We will leave this place an empty stone Or that shining ball of blue we call our home So the kids, they dance, they shake their bones And the politicians throwing stones Singing ashes, ashes, all fall down Ashes, ashes, all fall down Shipping powders back and forth Singing black goes south and white comes north And the whole world full of petty wars Singing I got mine and you got yours While the current fashions set the pace Lose your step, fall out of grace The radical, he rant and rage Singing someone got to turn the page And the rich man in his summer home Singing just leave well enough alone But his pants are down, his cover's blown And the politicians throwing stones So the kids, they dance, they shake their bones 'Cause it's all too clear we're on our own Singing ashes, ashes, all fall down Ashes, ashes, all fall down Picture a bright blue ball just spinning, spinning free It's dizzying, the possibilities Ashes, ashes, all fall down (Ashes, ashes, all fall down) Ashes, ashes, all fall down (Ashes, ashes, all fall down) Ashes, ashes, all fall down (Ashes, ashes, all fall down) Ashes, ashes, all fall down (Ashes, ashes, all fall down _______________________________________ And Touch of Grey the previous video has a short break before they encore into Touch of Grey (Dead and Company at a Benefit show for Marion Stoneman Douglas after the shooting) ____________________________ It must be getting early, clocks are running late Paint-by-number morning sky looks so phony Dawn is breaking everywhere, light a candle, curse the glare Draw the curtains, I don't care 'cause it's alright I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive I see you've got your list out, say your piece and get out Guess I get the gist of it, but it's alright Sorry that you feel that way, the only thing there is to say Every silver lining's got a touch of grey I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive It's a lesson to me The Ables and the Bakers and the C's The ABC's we all must face Try to keep a little grace It's a lesson to me The Deltas and the East and the Freeze The ABC's we all think of And try to wean a little love I know the rent is in arrears, the dog has not been fed in years It's even worse than it appears, but it's alright Cow is giving kerosene, kid can't read at seventeen The words he knows are all obscene, but it's alright I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive The shoe is on the hand it fits, there's really nothing much to it Whistle through your teeth and spit 'cause it's alright Oh well, a touch of grey kinda suits you anyway And that was all I had to say and it's alright I will get by I will get by I will get by I will survive We will get by We will get by We will get by We will survive We will get by We will get by We will get by ___________________________ Yeah we will get by but many won't. People are going to go crazy. People are going to sit in front of the tv and eat processed crap and get sick even if they don't get sick. 6 weeks. We should all have six pack abs by the end of this. I don't know what I would do if I was younger. I heard kids in Chicago (20 somethings) were still out partying hard on a pre St. Paddy's day bender, meanwhile the O'Hare airport filled with thousands of Americans trying to return before the travel ban (like every other international airport) inoculating all of America one last time. I think I would have done the same in my 20's. I was invincible. I was irresponsible. ________________________________________ For those of us sitting at home cleaning and organizing our homes. Finishing projects. Eating in for once. Reading. Writing. Drawing. Singing. Dancing. Playing instruments. Crafting. Gardening. Walking. Working out. Meditating. Spending quality time together who knows we might just come out on the other side of this better off. When you get a virus you get a fever. Its your bodies last defense to try and burn out the invader even if it gets you in the end. The earth is getting hotter too. I hate to say there is a connection here but it does cause one to pause if you think about it. ___________________________________________ So. Make a schedule. Be your best self. Stay home. Stay positive. _______________________________________________ Carl Sagan can wrap this one up better than I can: Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. Click Here to listen to him say it himself

kale is back

its been a while. i'm coming back soon.

Anyone still out there?

Don't think anyone still reads. so maybe i'll start this blog over from here.

i wrote this poem the other day. it's called "The Terrible Lens" tell me what you think?


I saw the potent minds of my generation
redesigned and rebooted
glowing rectangles and drawn faces
oozing the drool of opiate massive
salivating pavlov and involuntary
at the cloud of collective hopes
and lies of boys
and girls searching
for a do over
for a one up
for an extra life
a magic mushroom

and its all from

The Ground!

The Ground! is the variable
The Ground! is the place
The Ground! is where you feel your feet
The Ground! is where you rub your face
The Ground! is the real feeling
The Ground! is rough and slick

The Ground!

the exponential choices
the multitude of voices
the infinite combination
every class and every vacation
in one big precipitous and electrified cloud
imaginary and LOUD

the sky mind used to be so absolute
and now earthman mind
and sores of institute

The Ground!

The Ground! is where you try
The Ground! is from which you fly
The Ground! is a molten mine
The Ground! is sometime a grind
The Ground! is what we dig to find
The Ground! is where the rocks shine
The Ground! is where the rocks shine
The Ground! is where the rocks shine

AND THEY JUST KEEP SHININ" ON.

simple the calculation
simple the truth
simple all the same
simple in the ionized pursuits
simple in all the games
simple in your tribulations
simple in your name
simple all the excitement
simple the terrible lens of this generation

the way of the analog organic warriors
codes and judges and level
modern master soldiers
of a imaginary created universe

the power of love
is a curious thing
make one man weep
the other insane

curious curious curious

and damn the clarity
and damn the opaque
and damn the shadows
the tinted windows
the tinted halos
try your luck at that
and the queen of hearts don't give a shit

and she never did

you build it.

and you always did

Boogie Chillin

San Francisco, what an amazing city. I hit the whopper on my trip the weather was sunny and 75 in February, it was a dream I didn't want to wake up from.

Seeing old friends always reminds me of good things that happened in my life, those kinds of people that remind you of good times, they should be who we spend the most time.

Now I'm back on the life train and its chuggin along pretty steady like.

Watched another amazing kid bite the dust today. She had too much life shit break down and couldn't get out of the loop. I swear being a teacher is a heavy load sometimes. Hold on Girl.

Life isn't all sad, its just so very chill. Winter is losing its grip on the days and I can't help but give my heart to summer already, especially after a San Fran dream like that. The lighter days make me want to look up more often.

I want to be like a wise old owl/billy goat hybrid personality this summer, a little ornery but always a kick in the pants and in the know. I have started to feel more relaxed towards getting older and realized it excites me to think about all the characters I will be able to play in the future.

Because, as I have increasingly felt lately, everyone, every single human, pretty much dishes out the same bullshit, we're all bullshitters. And that comforts me.

Don't make it on to this here new fangled machinery to write a blog as much as I ought to, but I hope you know I'm still here. I'm just waiting for a good time to strike.

Bring on The SUMMER 2011.

Still Alive

Um... Life's scary good.

My new schedule:
1st period Science
2nd Period Science
3rd period Kale's Science elective focused on National Geographic
4th Period Build Community Garden Class

Thats right. I'm building a community garden with my kiddos!

Also, quit some bad habits, started working out, playing lots of music.

Festival line ups are popping up left and right. Northwest String Summit Looks INSANE this year, Sasquatch is revealing Line Up on Sunday, and I don't think I can really maintain my enthusiasm for what I suspect might be the best summer of my life.

Oh yeaaaaaaah, I'm flying to San Fran this weekend to visit a friend just cuz.

Basically my life is pretty good lately.

Except I'm sore, so sore, its sucks getting old and being a fat ass for two years.

Oh well got to get in Tattoo shape for this summer!

Anyone still out there?

Some Songs Lately

There's a hole.
(for ukulele)

There's a hole in my fence
Where all the alley cats
they come and go.
There's a hole in my heart because of you
Don't ya know

There's a hole in my jeans
At least I put it there
myself
There's a hole in my heart
You bought yours off the shelf

There's a hole in my heart because of you
There's a hole in my heart because of all the things you do

There's a hole in my pocket
Where all the money
goes
There's a hole in my heart
My momma told me so

There's a hole in the sky
And no one seems
to mind
There's a hole in my heart
I can read all the signs

There's a hole in my heart because of you
There's a hole in my heart because of all you put me through

There's a hole in the bucket dear Liza
Going down the
drain
There's a hole in my heart
you could drive a train

There's a hole in my shoe
I can feel every stepping
stone
There's a hole in my heart
My heart alone

There's a hole in my heart because of you
There's a hole in my heart because of you



Family Birds
(for ukulele)

Hey there mama bird
sittin on my front picket fence
the summer sun
is fadin once again

Hey there mama bird
diggin in the dirt for worms
gotta feed the babies
gotta make them learn

to fly to fly to fly

hey there papa bird
headin north with the wind
don't ya know the winter
is settin in

hey there papa bird
don't leave us all behind
don't we matter to ya
do we cross your mind

when you fly when you fly

hey there baby bird
its a big world out there
got to be careful
of the hawks in the air

hey there baby bird
you're not a baby anymore
so open up those wings
and get ready to soar

away away away away


Till The Morning Comes
(for keyboard/drum machine electronic loop)

If you wanna get up and leave
you know I wouldn't blame you
If you're thinkin bout leaving town
I hope you won't go

I just want one more day
in the sun
I just want to get up dance
till the morning comes

If you wanna get up and go
well then go on
but if you wanna get up and move
then move on

I just want one more day
in the sun
I just wanna dance
till the morning comes

If you wanna get up and dance
I can help you
If you wanna shake shake
Let me shake you


I just want one more day
in the sun
I just wanna dance
till the morning comes

Limping across the finish line.

Mayday Mayday I'm coming in hot, landing gear's busted and I got migs on my tail! Get out the fire trucks and fire up the cannons cuz its gonna be a fiery landing!

Me: plane about to crash
Migs: school
Landing Strip: winter break

Bleh.

But some good things too.

Psychedelic Dance Music has been the jam lately. I play it while cleaning, I play it while driving. I play in school with my kids and they like it.

Here's a list of bands that will make your life/classroom better immediately. Go get em.

MGMT
PHOENIX
EMPIRE OF THE SUN
DISCOVERY
CHROMEO
LCD SOUNDYSTEM

Also, on NETFLIX movies on demand you need to watch Beavers on IMAX, The Atheism Tapes, Countryman, Sweetgrass, David Cross Bigger and Blackerer, and Danielson: A family Movie.

Hal's coming home finally.

Subaru turned over 150,000 miles running strong.

Kyle and I are growing ever so close to being confident enough to take our improvisational electronic looping show to the next level and book a show. I also am working an idea for an entire night of entertainment called FOLK TO FUNK. It will be a 3-4 hour show starting in the early evening and ending at dance-o-clock whenever. The set will start with simple folk songs and start to blead slowly song by song by transition to a full fledged electro funk no tronic dance show with many synthed out pop and trippyness in between. The coolest thing is that each show can feature who ever fits in. Think about it, FOLK TO FUNK! And if that never pans out I've also been developing an fake Christian Electronic Band played by two Atheists. The band will be called LAZER JEZUS, you would be surprised at how easy it is to make songs up about god.

Also, really enjoying that the state standards for science require me to teach evolution in 7th grade. There is nothing sweeter than saying, "Well I could NOT teach your child evolution but they will be severley behind in their science learning as they take the state tests and progress to high school where its required knowledge for graduation..." Awesome.

You should clean your house, it feels good afterward. But I sometimes wonder if clean house would feel so good if you didn't also trash them. Is it experiencing the opposite of something that gives it so much delight upon reception? Would Thanksgiving and Christmas break be so needed if I hadn't slaved so much at school?

The sweet would not be so sweet without the bitter. Damn you bitter, damn you.

Hey Anyone still out there?

Well I write to you in the midst of a new job/life/situation. I work now. WORK a lot. The new school I'm at is starting from scratch and so am I. Its good for me, I was getting my roots so deep in my summer that I almost forgot that people work. Now its seems to be all I do.

The problem isn't the job, or the people there, or the kids, they're all great. The problem is that I have no time for things like this lately. Blogs, email, facebook, part of me misses it but I just don't think of online community as much lately.

That out the open, I don't even really have time to write a sufficient blog now either. I do have time to give you a bulleted list...they're efficient I suppose.

- String Cheese Incident at Hornings Hideout was amazing, people more than the music.
- I caught the Biggest Bass of my life 14.5" in Conconully
- I played two sets at Big Bottom Festival and killed it pretty damn well.
- Flowmotion Summer Meltdown Festival was mind blowing.
- I'm making a lot of electronic music and have some opportunities for shows soon
- Played a show at the Mandolin, the sound guy was a doosher.
- My brother is working grape crush at a winery far away for two months i miss him
- I wear a collared shirt, slacks and a tie every day, I feel dapper
- I quit smoking
- The WSU Cougar football team still sucks big time but I love going to Pullman home games with my family
- My Grandma and Grandpa are having a really hard time in their 90's
- Weeds, The Big Bang Theory and Boardwalk Empire are the best television shows on earth.
- I don't talk to my friends enough, or at all anymore, I miss them.

I miss you too.

Summer in Full Bloom

AH TEXAS!

What did I learn in Texas. Yes they have a lot of oil refineries. Yes there are a buttload of churches. Yes they do listen to a ton of Country music. Yes they line dance...a lot. Yes they have invented about a hundred ways to eat beef.

But did you know that the people in Texas are incredibly wonderful and heart warming and hospitable and kind. I had a great time with the Dengler family and friends in Texas. It was truly a wonderful experience flying to the Bayou Texas to have a big ol barn weddin. Congratulations Mason and Reese!



Did you know that chopping trees down is harder than it looks? My brother and I spent a whole week cutting down two 30 year old trees at my parents house and it was a work out.



And let me just say that PHOTOSYNTHESIS FESTIVAL 3.0 outside of Randle Washington was probably the best festival I'll go to all year. It was last minute, it was beautiful and it was all electronic music all day long. I danced my ass off!

Now on to String Cheese in two days, then camp Conconully, then Meltdown if I have energy, then Big Bottom Festival.


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH my summer is freaking crazy!

Come and Get me.

Well its been a while, as it tends to be in the summer. I'm just to busy livin life to make time for my blog in the summer. Since we last spoke about the amazing Squeak and Sqwuak Festival I feel like I've been really busy.

Problem is I don't have much time to tell all about what I did. Basically I had the best Fourth of July ever at my parents house with all my friends, games, fireworks and giant slip and slide.

My great friend Randy moved in with me for a month of relaxation and mental recouping. We went on the greatest road trip of a lifetime to a Pinot Noir Winery in Oregon, then to the redwoods and a secret town of Bolinas, then onto San Fran for a night out on the town and Haight Ashbury, then off to live a day as a beach bum in Santa Cruz and then back on home. Now He's off to climb mount Adams and then harvest grains in the palouse.

I went and chilled at a lake cabin and swam and fished in the great clear waters of Lake Phillips.

I ventured deep into the Columbia Basin to the Potholes Reservoir for an all male campout filled with cliff jumping, soccer and intense conversations late at night.

And after a short break I have taken up music with a new reckless abandon deciding to go back to a concept from long ago, my music will just be an extension of me that day, that time, and what instruments I can get my hands on. My band mate and I have decided to call it "Look At the Noises We Make."

Tomorrow I fly to Texas for Mason and Reese's Wedding in Beaumont in a Barn. I've never been to the Lone Star State and certainly never this close to the Gulf I'm excited!

After that I go to STRING CHEESE INCEDENT at Hornings Hideout! Never seen them before and feel luck to be able to go to one of the rarest festivals of the summer.

From there I will drive to Conconully Washington for a week of camping and fishing with mom and dad and hal and our cousin's family for a down home rooting tooting hick good time.

Haven't decided if I will show up at the Summer Meltdown to see flowmotion Saturday night or not...probably will though.

After that I have Big Bottom festival which I'm PLAYING at this year! Woot Woot

The next week my friend Kyle and Sean and I have a show at the world famous Bob's Java Jive

I feel so luck to have all these people in my life to share these amazing times with. Summer is crazy and when its all over and I start my new job in the fall I will do so knowing I rocked my brains out this summer.

I'm a busy man, and I am who I am. Are you who you are? Does that you that you are want to see me that is me? Then you have to come and find me. Come and join the team for a day a month a year a life time.

Love ya.

Squeak and Squawk

I am all over the place. I just spent the last 5 evenings with a new (and old) group of people that made me so proud and so incredibly excited to live and exist in Tacoma. The Squeak and Squawk Music festival put on by the incredible Sean Alexander and his team of crack specialists wrapped up last night with great performances by amazing local talent that pimp slaps all the other towns indi music in the face.

During the 5 day local music blast a sort of vibrating began to occur finally building to an all out freak a thon Saturday night with a dance circus spectacular complete with face paint, glow sticks, fog machines, lazer beams and two great bands STRENGTH and REPORTER (both can be found on myspace I believe). Hipsters shed their well maintained hair and carefully chosen thrift store finds and got down and dirty with dance moves straight out of the depths of swampy funky techno marsh. Many many many other spot on performances took place during the weekend including Lake, Butts, and Grand Hallway ranking among this blog reporters favorite.

On top of great music the sense of community that this shindig brought together was staggering. The same amazing people kept coming night after night to solidify a sense of pride and that, yes, Tacoma is amazing and we do belong on the map of farking cool places in the Puget Sound. Everyone pitched in however they could and new connections, ideas and synapses started firing off.

I can't say that this report does this experience any justice but it does hopefully serve a record of time that Squeak and Squawk 2010 was a success, and people felt loved.

Maybe if we are all lucky enough this will lead on to other, bigger more incredible things from Sean and his team as well as from the arts community in Tacoma. Its time for a revolution.

Thankfully today is a half day and the last day of school, after this I will maybe get some rest as I have been dancing with my new best friends for 5 days straight.

Thanks Squeak and Squawk for flipping the switch.

The Big Things

So I broke down and gave into the man. I trimmed my beard. I thought about it long and hard and I decided that this job interview was bigger than my need to be a bearded master. I know I shouldn't give in on this but school is a game. A big stupid game that gets in the way of the real issue, teaching kids how to figure shit out. If I have to trim my beard so that I can get one step closer to a permanent place in this crazy Tacoma world and a shot at a real career where I can help kids to my fullest capacity then I should do it.

Tomorrow I have an interview for a job that seems perfectly tailored to me. I have to be on point, I have to be sharp, and I have to let the confident part inside of me that reminds me I am a great teacher, come striding out. I have a nice shirt and pants and a dashing tie, my hair finally feels like me again after the big cut last year up in Alaska. All I have to do now is answer the interview questions with a glow and wisdom that I truly feel I have.

Its been a long journey in my short teaching career. Most of it has been documented on this blog. I started out as a student teacher at Tacoma School of the Arts and learned more about the sheer possibility of what school could actually grow into. School can be a place where kids like to come, it can be a place where people can come together and actually build up others. Art, science, self motivation and responsibility.

Then I made a whacky turn in the road of life and moved to a tiny Eskimo village in Alaska. The people, the culture, the elements all taught me one very simple thing, one very very valuable lesson. I can adapt, learn, analyze and flourish in any environment if I just follow the same morals I was raised on by my family: Work HARD, be a good person, and do your very best at everything you do.

Then I came home. At the time I had to. There wasn't any other option in my mind at the time. Looking back I could have easily stayed in the Kuskokwim Delta for a long time, hell I could have been a bush teaching nutbar with a fur hat and a total disconnect from reality. But I like reality too much. I wanted to be home. And I think I am.

While I was up there something happened though. I taught all subjects you see...ALL subjects. I served as principal a time or too. I helped with scheduling and budgets and staff management. I learned how to write IEP and went to the Alaska Statewide Special Education conference two years in a row and opened myself to the true heart of American education, you see everything we learn about teaching special needs students eventually gets adapted to every other student. I saw the idea of "school" and "education" from outer space, I saw the equator.

Once I got back home to make ends meet and support myself in my new home I took a job in the middle of an impoverished school in the heart of a drastic time of change in the Tacoma School District. Schools being closed, entire staffs being torn apart based on all sorts of factors basically boiling down to really poor test scores and national averages. I live in the "restructured" world now.

And I worked this new job. I didn't just work there, I worked it. I made myself a place at a school that really couldn't epitomize the national paradox of American school any more if it tried. I let people see who I was, what I was about, and then I listened to my kids, I figured out what was actually going on and I adapted. I helped them, guided them, and did my best to leave them better than I found them. I flipped a couple kids over to the good side along the way too.

All the while I tutored the spectrum of kids privately after school. I worked with a rich private school kid to help him find a deeper understanding of the quadratic equation. I tutored an unmotivated Native American kid and tried to help him understand the crazy white man's world. I helped a shy intelligent kid come out of his shell and learn how to take care of himself a little. And I helped a newly enrolled freshman in community college figure out an introductory biology class in about 4 days.

And tomorrow I have to go and some up all the things I've learned along the way. I have to some how get a panel of people that don't know me and my beard from a bum on the street to realize that when they hire me they are going to get way more than a science teacher. I am tapped in, I am here in the trenches, I get school, all the way, from every angle, and if I don't get the angle you can bet your ass I'll figure it out by the end of the day and own it.

Yeah I'll trim the beard, yeah I'll put on the tie, yeah I'll answer the questions, but if you really want to know what kind of teacher I am, see me in my element, see me in my classroom, see me in jeans and a t-shirt, with a long beard, seated next to a kid tapped in that just figured out he/she doesn't have to suck at life, and that school is a place he or she can make it.

You want to know what kind of teacher I am? Ask my kids.

I'd say wish me luck but I think you know I don't reaaaaally believe in that. I do believe in evidence though, and I got that on my side.

Also, listen to Band of Horses because I am pretty sure that you need to if you don't.

I'll keep ya posted on the outcome.

Dear Teacher Who Won't Teach Evolution in Science

I subbed a science class yesterday that didn't have lesson plans, I designed a lesson using Blue Planet episode on "The Deep" ocean to teach students about how environmental conditions of the deep ocean and animal adaptations of the organisms living there interact. Today when I debriefed the teacher on what I did they saw the "Adaptations" notes on the white board and said, "Oh no, you didn't talk about evolution in my class did you? I don't want no law suit, I don't even touch on evolution or adaptation."

WHAT THE FUDGE! Are you kidding me? Science teachers not teaching Evolution or natural selection or adaptations? That's like teaching algebra but not teaching kids how to count to 10, its fundamental to biological understanding. Not only that our School District Curriculum and the Washington State Standards require it.

So I wrote this email, but never sent it, because even though I am a staunch Atheist and a firm believer that this type of bullshit needs to stop immediately, I am in the process of applying for jobs and don't want a mess on my hands. So here is the un-sent email.


Dear Teacher Who Won't Teach Evolution in Science,


You said something this morning that kind of perplexed me about not teaching evolution or adaptation. So I checked to see what our school district and state say about teaching evolution, natural selection, and adaptation.

Here's what I found. Not only is it ok, it is part of our district curriculum and the state science standards. So although the fear of a lawsuit from a parent is there, you have your school districts go ahead as well as the state requirement to cover the material. Legally you would be safe if you taught it, and you should.

Teaching evolution in school is really important regardless of people's religious affiliations, school is a secular institution and science and inquiry and biology and evolution are secular institutions continually moving toward teaching proven, evidence based, curriculum and theories.

Also, the evolutionary theory of adaptation by natural selection can and does explain how life has come into being the way it is on this planet and to deprive students of this understanding of the fundamental roots of life's functions and manifestations is irresponsible and unfair to them as well as a major hinderance to their future contributions to the human condition on this planet.

Please consider these standards when planning your curriculum next year.

Tacoma 6th Grade Science Curriculum
Fall 6th grade
Diversity of Life

Students observe and maintain protists, plants and animals in the classroom and study their characteristic features. The study progresses from macroscopic to microscopic observation to discover the fundamental unit of life, the cell. Students then investigate organism subsystems and behaviors, ****and consider their diversity of adaptive structures and strategies.****

Fall 7th Grade
Populations and Ecosystem

Students raise populations of organisms to discover population dynamics in a range of conditions. Reproduction, heredity and **** natural selection are explored as ways to understand both the similarity and the variation within and between organisms.****


State Standards

6-8 LS3A
++++The scientific theory of evolution underlies the study of biology and explains both the diversity of life on Earth and similarities of all organisms at the chemical, cellular, and molecular level. Evolution is supported by multiple forms of scientific evidence. Explain and provide evidence of how biological evolution accounts for the diversity of species on Earth today.++++

6-8 LS3E
++++Adaptations are physical or behavioral changes that are inherited and enhance the ability of an organism to survive and reproduce in a particular environment. Give an example of a plant or animal adaptation that would confer a survival and reproductive advantage during a given environmental change.++++

6-8 LS3F
Extinction occurs when the environment changes and the ++++adaptive characteristics of a species, including its behaviors, are insufficient to allow its survival.++++ Given an ecosystem, predict which organisms are most likely to disappear from that environment when the environment changes in specific ways.

6-8 LS3G
++++Evidence for evolution includes similarities among anatomical and cell structures, and patterns of development make it possible to infer degree of relatedness among organisms. Infer the degree of relatedness of two species, given diagrams of anatomical features of the two species (e.g., chicken wing, whale flipper, human hand, bee leg).++++