Monday, May 4, 2009


What do you get when you mix a major personal life screw up with 14 of the most apathetic and whiney baby students in the world? THE WORST DAY EVER.

So it all began 1st period when my normally perky and pleasant 7th and 8th grade Girls Science class was totally tired and cranky, it took me a whole period to cheer them up, get them laughing and learning and off they went. The rest of the day however was a complete waste of time. The students can smell the overwhelming stench of bloody summer in the water and are circling in for the kill (which oddly enough is a metaphor for smoking more pot, staying up later, and doing even less work than they usually don't do, not exactly a perfect match of a metaphor I know).

But then just when my day was hurdling towards the city limits of Shittytown, USA. I had this creepy uneasy feeling come over me. It was that I hadn't gotten a flight reminder email from Alaska Airlines. Thats when I realized over about 15 frantic minutes of internet and phone searching that I, in fact, hadn't bought my plane ticket home to Washington. What a fucking idiot I am. Not only is this very uncharacteristic of me to pull boners like this one, but it is also very costly. On top of that the flight that I usually take home is sold out. So now I have to take the red eye putting me back in seattle at 5:47 am on Saturday morning. All this for the low low price of $567 dollars after tax. What a moron. Now I'm going to be totally spent and beat up for my half day with my parents before I go and see my girlfriend for the first time in 5 months and on top of that I get one day after that pretty much to get ready for Europe. All of this still completely rests on the fact that A.) I'll be able to get to the airport past the flooding, and B.) The weather is good enough for a plane to land and C.) That the lazy bastards at the bush plane services get here on time to pick me up and get me to Bethel before last check in at Alaska Airlines where D.) those assholes purposefully over book every flight out of Bethel just to screw with people.

I could just leave on Thursday night right? Friday is only a half day anyway no big woop...WRONG...big woop indeed. The union contract says you can't take vacation or sick days on the last days of schools or breaks (even if you're not coming back...EVER! What if I had Swine Flu?) So I can't leave or I'll be in a breach of contract.

So basically. I am gonna do my best to get off the island on the midday flight Friday, try to go standby for the 2:16pm out of bethel (75 dollar seat change fee) and try to go stand by for an earlier flight in anchorage (another 75 dollar flight change fee) so that I don't have to spend the night in the airport. EITHER WAY THIS WHOLE THING FRIGGING SUCKS.

It would be a whole lot different if the kids were better, but they're not, they are awful right now, this year is different than last year. Last year the kids were stressed because of all the work they needed to finish, this year our kids have literally given a giant middle finger to the phases, their teachers, and their classes and there isn't anything I or anyone else can do about it.

Quite frankly I think we should just have half days the rest of the year and let the kids who need/want to finish work stay after lunch if they want to. Because forcing me to try and teach these sloth-esque creatures is completely insane and idiotic and I, quite quite quite faaaaaaaaraaaaaaaankly am done here.

I was going to work on my graduation speech tonight, but now I don't think I'm in the right mood. Unless I want it to sound like this...

"Congratulations You graduated High School, hopefully your life won't suck. Peace I'm OUT."

Hopefully your day didn't suck major horses ass like mine did. Good day.


Bekah said...

Craptastic day indeed! Things will turn up.... will you able to get rested on the plane at all? We need you aliiiiive! :D I'm excited to see ya again, hopefully your kids get their act together in time to leave you with a better taste in your mouth when you leave~

Randall H. Sloot said...

So evidently there has been some confusion as to what day this party is supposed to be. (sat or sun) if it works better for you and everyone else we can do it on sun. I guess SQ needs to know so she can tell her mom when to plan Lyndsey's grad party. Let me know asap, I'll be talking w/ SQ tomorrow. Sorry about life shitting on your chest, happens to the best of us. I hope to god it all works out to where we can be drunk together at some point. High standards, I know. Shoot me an email man. Peace

Syd said...

I'm sorry you had such a bad day babe. It's hard to hold it together when you have the shitnami hitting you from almost every angle. Everything will work out ok. Just trust me on this. If you need to spend saturday to rest after your tedious, long journey I wont be too against napping wrapped up in your strong ahms.

SMILE KALE - life's too good not to.

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