Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Slow ing t o a gr i n d in g h a l t

Today was slightly better. My kids are not evil, they are just tired, probably of me.

Sorry if yesterday offended you or changed your opinion of me.

I am just stretched a little thin these days.

Even though my students drive me nuts, I'm still going to miss the heck out of these little knuckle heads. They have been the closest things to friends that I've had up here and I think there will be a big hole in my heart when I go.

Graduation is Friday (three this year woo hoo!) and along with our regular absences (about two a day) and two students going to bethel for testing all next week we might be down to about 7 students next week in the High School which is probably contributing to the overall attitudes of apathy and melancholy.

Once again, I'm sorry if I offended you, please forgive me.

I got my plane ticket, now I'm battling the Alaska Certification office and trying to wrap up other important things before I go.

Needless to say I am just generally stressed out. My dreams have always mirrored my level of stress. Last night I had violent dreams of post apocalyptic revolution (some of it in German which I somehow understood) and had to literally slice people in half with a samurai sword and defend a princess. I woke this morning by punching my pillow and sweating.

I am trying to keep myself sane by listening to lots of Polyphonic Spree and drinking good coffee.

Its not working.


Randall H. Sloot said...

They have good coffee up there? Do you smuggle it in yourself. Glad you got your ticket.

funky punk said...

The approach to summer seems to be wearing thin on a lot of us this year. Maybe we all already have Swine Flue Virus. Delta Virus?

In dreams, I've read that blood represents vital energy and cleansing. Perhaps the slicing means that you aren't wasting any time, you're going full speed towards washing out all of that negativity & getting to the place of renewal that you desire. You're heart's desires will be fulfilled, eventually.

Joining in the apathy & melancholy parade might be what you feel right now, but I think we know you like to go against the grain. Listen to some Pete Seeger; it was his 90th b-day on 3 May. Rage Against the Machine always levels me when I feel like that too. It seems you like a little softer edge though. Something's gotta click.

Enjoy something about where you are now. Find the beauty. (ex. "Wow, the whites in your eyes sparkle when you roll them at me for asking you to finish that senior writing project!" ... "That middle finger shows you keep your fingernails very kempt." ... and so on...) In two shakes of a lambs tail you'll be flying the magic carpet.

A'ite enough is enough.... back to my tourist visa for China. Vicki & I are passing through on our way to Mongolia.


Hal Iverson said...

Listening to Polyphonic Spree to stay sane? Forgive me brother, but that sounds like an oxymoron. Glad today was better for ya.

Corinna said...

No need for apologies, son, everyone has shit days. The good news is it's all better and you got tickets and business taken care of. And you get to travel soon which is what life is all about. YES!

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