Friday, December 21, 2007

Judgement Day

For the first time in a long time I can see the stars on my island. Unfortunately as I looked at them, the liquid layer of tears that naturally lubricates my eyes froze because it is -25 deg. F outside. Also, there is a freaking fully of a moon up there smiling and mocking me.

Step one is underway: Operation "Rock and Roll" The primary goal of this mission is to evacuate this godforsaken rock like Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery in the popular 90's action movie "The Rock." It seems there are as may ridiculous tasks. Not only do I have to get to the airport, get on a plane in sub zero temperature, fly over the Bering Sea, and land, but the person who the ride depends on is my principal. I don't know if any of you have ever traveled with a family before, god love em, they can be disfunctional. When you travel alone, its just you, and if you skrew it up there is no one else to blame. My principle is a tornado of life and easily sweeps you into his cause, dilemma, situation, or pace of life. I walked into school today, fully packed, fully dressed and fully ready to exit stage right. I said, "Reporting for duty Sarge, I'm upwardly mobile." Then he said, "Well I'm not, try getting a family together last second." Nuff Said.

Mission Two A: If by some stroke of magic I make it to Bethel today, I'm instituting Operation "Leap Frog" This will include trying to hop my flights up early as to try to make it to Anchorage or farther tonight to possible surprise my family.

Mission Two B: If Operation Leap Frog isn't a possibility then I will go to our flanking position of a friend's (A- you rock!) in Bethel, dine in fellowship and seasonal joy, sleep, then institute Operation "GET ME THE FRICK OUT OF ALASKA" This may or may not include lying, stealing, cheating, violence, fraud, begging, borrowing, and selling my soul to the devil, Pagan Goat Sacrifice, snake blood drinking, shamanism, time travel, parachuting, a dogsled team, or aliens. Any tactic is acceptable in this mission as long as the objective of me seated properly in an establishment that serves frosty cold beverages with my family in Washington Saturday night is achieved. Then and only then will I say, "Free at last, free at last, thank god a'mighty I am free at last." We have a long way to go from freedom my chick a dees, a long way. I will keep y'all updated on the various tactical missions in place as objectives are achieved and opponents bested.

No comments:

to view my other blog OUT OF THE CLOSET ATHEIST click HERE