Tuesday, September 25, 2007


So I keep having little birdies on my shoulder. They tell me that my legion of blogging devoties is growing? These same little birdies leave me to believe that many people that read my blog feel that they have been granted some sort of magical right to not respond to what I'm writing. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. If you read this blog, you respond to this blog. See that comment thing at the end of this post? Use it. Ok I didn't want to chastise you. I'm sorry. But I mean seriously, I'm in the Bering see for crying out loud. Help a brother out.

Now on to more interesting things. I need to blog more often. Its just so gosh darn hard to fit it in between working on a 24 song underground album of my own songs, playing in WD-40 a Eskimo country western band, taking piano lessons, sweating it out at adult open gym basketball pick up games, and, oh yes, being a biology, english, math, health and PE teacher for native kids. I will try harder. I'm not a super hero, I have a beard.

So now I've scorned you. I've explained my moments of absence. Now I guess I have to weave some recent experience that happened to me that totally shakes the foundations of everything we've come to know and understand. Unfortunately I can't do that. Things are getting slow now around here. I can't believe how sneaky winter is round these parts. The weather gets cold kind of like how sleep comes on as you doze off in a car. You fight it, or you don't, but either way when you wake up you have travelled somewhere else. I must have fallen asleep somewhere because winter is here. It smells like snow all the time. It smells just like Pullman, Washington in December. Kind of dry and you know any drop will bring snow down. I guess its not going to snow for a while though. Even though my life is filled with ridiculousness and possible stressors, one step outside into the air snaps you right back to the cold drowziness of winter.
I'm getting excited though. If you haven't seen lately, my beard is getting long. I have chosen the musk ox as my power animal for its resemblance to my physical features. I can't wait till I'm wearing snowpant overalls, a puffy parka, a Peruvian Alpaca hat, my Sorel snow boots and a whole bunch of snow in my beard. I mean, its going to be my greatest moment. It will be the closest I'll ever get to such the look of such heroes as Robert Redford in "Jerimiah Johnson," Sylvester Stallone in "Rocky IV" and Tom Hanks in "Castaway." Hollywood or not, you can't knock a beard until you got one. And if you can grow one you should, it scares people. If you can't I'm sorry, we can't all be lumberjacks.
People may wonder why us beard growers do what we do. I can't speak for all of us. Also, there isn't some secret society of beard allegiance. What I do know is that between beard growers and admirers there exists a code. When you see a damn fine beard you ought to tell the man so. Or, ask the customary question, "That's a mighty fine beard you got there, how long you been growing it?" Any beard wearer will relish in the opportunity to boast about the length of time it has taken. Because, beards are really all about time. It is a daily reminder of how far you've come since you didn't have one. The last time I didn't have a beard was my freshman year of college. Has it been that long? I have a year beard now. That means its over a year long without a trim. Its taking on a new personality. Everyday I let it go longer is another day it starts to really stretch out and strut its stuff. Us beard wearers are all about pushing it to the limit. You see people try and then cut it off. Thats ok. It happens some times. Don't be afraid. I say just let go....NO wait, just let grow! Yup, just let 'er grown man. The last and best part about growing a beard is simple. Shaving sucks and is a waste of time and money. That should be reason enough.

Now the beard tirade is out of the way we never have to go there again. But lest we forget my bloggies, it is my blog. And that means if you've signed on, plugged in, buckled up, and paid for the ride you have to just wait and see what you're gonna get. I will try not to let you down.

That brings me to the next order of business. I like this blogging thing. But, I have recently been writing letters. It is a lost art in America and one that I want to become better at. If you haven't written a letter in a while, and I mean a LETTER. You know with like your own penmanship and thoughts and all that I would like to extend and invitation to write me one. Consider it your charity for the month. That way if your know it all snooty neighbor says, "What do you do to help others in the world?" You can say, "Shut up you upity beeotch, I write letters to a lonely hippy on an island in the Bering Sea. What do you do? Volunteer at girl scouts or something? Get over it and get your latte drinking butt out of my face." Besides, I'll totally write you back a wicked good letter because, quite frankly I have nothing better to do. SO THERE, its decided, either you start commenting on these blogs, or you write a letter. Your choice. And, if you've commented before know that I hold you in very high regards and please disregard the barrage of challenges and criticism.

Kale Iverson
P.O. BOX 102
Mekoryuk, AK 99630

That's where you send it ok? Now I did my duty to entertain you, you do your duty to save me from death by boredom. Peace for now.


Susan Iverson said...

All I have to say is that I love every single hair on that bearded face of yours and I would give anything to see it right now, in person. But you know, all this talk about beards might make a sibling, who shall remain nameless, even more jealous! Keep up the blogging! Love, Mom

Brooke said...

Hi Kale--I saw your parents in Portland for Uncle Lee & Aunt Beth's 50th anniversary (our moms are cousins) and so I heard about your Alaskan adventures. I met you once a long time ago at Blue Lake but I'm sure you don't remember and I'm not sure I remember you... I remember your brother broke a banana clip I wore in my hair. I was mad at the time but now I'm pretty sure he was doing me a favor! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and good luck to you!

stephie said...

i am and have been for years a beard lover! you know this well! a beard is the one thing that accomplishes something by doing nothing! you got to love that..
can't wait to see it.. don't cut it until i do!

Kale's Blog said...

Brooke, the only thing I remember about Blue Lake was horse riding, my brother getting stung by a bee, and crossing a big log across a creek even though we were told not to. Its funny what memories we hold on to huh? Thanks for reading and keep in touch.

Hal said...

Okay...First off- Thanks a ton MOM!!! you guys love my inability to grow facial hair dont you!!! I guess I just need to realize that I will be a hairless freak in the Iverson clan until I can make something sprout up on my face. Second, Brooke my utmost appologies for breaking that banana clip, I know it was probably important to you and my thoughts will be with it tonight when i fall asleep.

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