Oddly enough I have to go back to a non related event to explain myself. When I was in high school I used to lift weights a lot for all the sports I played and also because narcicistically I wanted to be big and buff. That aside, when ever you start doing a strenuous activity after you've taken a break from it (lifting, running, skiing, or a sport) you get sore, really sore. You hobble around, complain a lot, seek sympathy, rub your aching bones and muscle and wonder why you ever did that and why you ever stopped.
Eventually, after a couple of weeks, you either give up or become numb to the pain, or you begin to like it in a weird way. Well I don't know if which one it is but I think I'm getting into some sort of teacher shape.
I mean after a summer of amazing fun, I have returned back to teaching, and I was sore about it, really sore for a while. I couldn't do anything without aggravating a pulled mental muscle or attitude. I complained a lot. And rubbed my head constantly at all the bafflingly idiotic things going on around me.
I was being a wuss. A teaching wuss. I'm sorry I put you all through that (but you sick puppies seem to like this unedited confessional sort of thing so I'll keep it up :). What I really needed was to toughin up, get a thicker skin (teachers got tough ones anyways) but thicker again. I needed to push through the pain and keep on keepin on. No pain no gain, (teaching in bush alaska, no gain...oh burn).
Well I'm not sore anymore, I'm an in shape teacher. I'm a hardened field general. I'm well conditioned outside linebacker. And I know this because today pretty much sucked big time but I was just able to kind of schuck it off like a drop of rain.
Here are some of the key elements: One, I'm actually getting in physical shape (lots of energy, positive self image, self esteem, health) Two, I listen to superb trans formative music that picks me up when ever I need it (DR DOG...SO GOOD!). Three, I have great friends that keep in touch with me as much as possible (blogs, skype, email, phone you guys rock!)! and Four, I've started realizing I'll never get recognition for my efforts around here which is the true definition of charity and generosity, so every time someone doesn't realize I just made their life a whole lot better and they don't thank me or anything then thats actually a good thing because that means I'm giving without expecting anything in return, which is a good thing and kind of zen in a twisted way.
Don't get me wrong, life is less than ideal right now for sure, but it has its bizarre little comforts. Being a strong, good music listening, awesome friend having, charitable person.
Basically, I'm feeling like a bad ass right now, true nothing has gone any better really, but nothing has gotten too much worse either, and that right there, that my friends is something.
So now...I'm going to go lift weights and do my Michael Franti "Power to the Peaceful Yoga" DVD I got in the mail today and then I'm gonna eat some enchiladas cuz that's how I roll homie (thanks Sally...just finishing the second pan now). Then I'm gonna try to make another sweet song to drop on y'all.
So what I'm saying is, if you're sore about something in life, tough cookies, cuz this rap game ain't gettin' any easier. Peace I'm out.