Saturday, March 15, 2008

Eek! I made it back

Well I made it back thanks to the amazing people at Eek. Thanks Marlene, Lonnie, Kellerby and everyone else. The two boys I took did really well for their first time. I've never really seen an NYO (Native Youth Olympics) event before. I was soooo cool. One team didn't show so it was a very small meet and very relaxed. The boys did their best and one did very well for his young age and size. The boys were so well behaved that our team got the "Sportsmanship Award" and I didn't even vote for our own team. For all of you non Alaskans the Native Youth Olympics are physical competition events directly linked to survival and traditional motions and skills. Lots of jumping events, stick pulling, and various feats of strength and agility.

The competition was dwarfed by the epic laugh a thon I was involved in last night as me and the two boys tried to fall asleep. It all started with a fart. A simple, natural, passing of gas causing the various digestive parts to let methane gas forth from the bowels sometimes accompanied by a distinctive sound and even more distinctive aroma. Well after two days of cafeteria food my boys were like fart-o-matic 3000 fart machines. As we lay there trying to fall asleep the farts came. At first they were accidental. Pttttttttt! Laughing followed all was well. Then again, ptttttttt. Laughing more, still very amusing. Then a few fake fart noises, not as funny. Then the laughing from me getting mad at fake fart noises caused more laughter and also more farts. There really isn't anything funnier than a fart caused by laughter. So to try and get a handle on the situation I firmly proclaimed, "YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR MOUTHS AND YOUR BUTTS SHUT!" As soon as I said it I realized how ridiculous I was being and started laughing myself. The more I tried to compose myself the harder we all started laughing. More laughing meant more farting. It was a vicious cycle. At this point (20 minutes of flatulence and laughter) I have tears running down my face (from laughing and the noxious fumes) and I'm starting to worry that the boys or myself my lose control of our bladder. When one of the boys said he might pee his pants if he laughs harder that only caused more laughter. Thank goodness we escaped without a pants wetting. The flatulence finally stopped and the laughing ended. We were all so exhausted we fell asleep soon after.

The next day we got our awards and I had to call the Aviation company a bunch to get them to come. I also had to battle a woman to get on the plane. I felt bad but the three open seats were for us, I called the company all morning. She was already going to miss her connection and you know what, its Alaska, survival of the fittest, or fartyest, or whatever. Besides, I think I'm getting better at being Alaskan. Its warm, hospitable and also cut throat and cold. You have to find the right time to help and the right time to take care of yer own.

It wasn't a bad trip at all. I got to eat some seal and caribou and salmon. I love native food. I love seeing other villages, and I love when the flights are on time and painless. A miraculous trip all together. Check out the flying Douglas as I now call him


Anonymous said...

It is clear from this that you really are still a kid at heart and if you are smart, you will never lose that. It endears you to us all!

Allen said...

cool, glad u had fun. and glad u love the foods. eskimo food. well i really dont. well only when i go to my grandmas house, i eat eskimo food. well later kale.

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