Friday, November 23, 2007

Slide Shows and Belated Turkeys and GO COUGS!!!!

So pumped about the slide show function being added to the blog. I have three up and running currently on the blog now. Are they slowing the loading time down to much for you guys cuz I can take it off or down to one. Let me know if they are cool okey dokey?

I got to go to my principal's home for a belated Thanksgiving dinner. It was awesome. They even gave me left overs which was so nice. Then I got to watch the whole Hawaii vs. Boise State game on tv. It was like heaven, they're even going to let me come back tomorrow to watch the APPLE CUP. All I have to say is GO COUGS!!!!!!!. Yeah baby!!!!!

THE FOLLOWING IS VERY ANGRY RAMBLING INCOHERENT BANTER CONCERNING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUSKIES AND COUGARS. IF YOU ARE A HUSKY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT READ ANY FARTHER. I WILL NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES HERE FORTH. BESIDES, I WOULDN'T WANT YOU SPILLING YOUR DOUBLE TALL SUGAR FREE EXTRA HOT CARMEL MACCIATTO NO FOAM NO WHIP NO SOUL LATTE.

I know this is supposed to be semi intellectual but I just have to say something for the record. I don't watch that much baseball, I hate the NFL, I'm not a hockey guy, there is only one sport I watch and that is college football. I watch it because of the Washington State Cougars. They are not a good team but they are my team. I have stood by them one embarrassing year after another and I always will. Tomorrow they are playing what I can only describe as a bunch of sniveling, whining, pretty boys from the University of Washington. Now I'm sure there are nice Huskies out there but I rarely meet one worth much (minus a few friends and relatives). For the most part they are upper crusty upturned nosey pansy purple wearing beamer driving Daddy's boys that would sue your ass out of house and home to pay off their country club bill. There are also a lot of people that are husky fans that just live in Seattle and didn't even go there. Other Huskies would sell those ones out for a $25 dollar gift certificate to Nordstroms in a heartbeat. Huskies don't have each others backs. Huskies aren't unified. Huskies just plainly suck. Got a problem with it too bad.
Now a cougar never shuns another cougar. We are the gritty, poor, underdog, farm kids from the middle of nowhere. We get no respect, we are shat on in the press, but we don't care if you are rich or poor, black or white, green or blue, man or woman, the only thing you can't be is purple. Once a Coug always a Coug.

Now, you'll hear a Husky say "I root for both teams...blah blah blah...where's my latte...rah rah rah...the Cougs aren't so bad..." You will never, and I repeat never, hear a Cougar rooting for the Huskies. Do you know why? Because we freaking hate them. I HATE THE HUSKIES SO MUCH AHAAAAAAAAAAA. I wouldn't wear a purple shirt if it was going to save my life. I hate the fibers of their souls. If you are a Husky I don't hate you personally, I just hate everything your college stands for. Call it ignorance, biligerancy, mean spiritedness, or unjustified I don't care. If you think I'm being a jerk then you don't know what it means to be a Coug.
You see we Cougs face the greatest challenge anyone can face no matter who the opponent. Our greatest enemy as a Coug is really ourselves. We have a term "Cougin' It" which means that no matter how impossible it may be for us to skrew up and lose a game we will find a way. We will fumble it on the one yard line. We will have a kick blocked for the game winner. We will pull all kinds of amazing blunders to ensure we are not successful at winning a game. To know that this is inevitable for your team and root for them anyways is truly what makes being a Coug a Coug. That way we know that if we beat you then we also didn't lose to ourselves (which is what we expected to do). That's why when a Cougar wins its like getting the joy of winning two games in one!

Being a Cougar doesn't rely on standings, wins or jersey designs (I hate the University of Oregon Ducks second most, you and Nike go flip yourselves), being a Cougar means taking a steady, extra salty dose of the bitter taste of defeat year after year so that when our time does come it is so unbelievably freaking sweet that you could just burst with joy. The only thing that could possibly redeem a year like the one we're currently having is marching into that Yuppie infested Husky Stadium and kicking the crap out of those Polo wearing panty waists.

Now I'm sorry I strayed from the "RADIATE WARMTH" theme of this blog. I will try and turn it around. Here, how about this being the Thanksgiving season and all, sweet lordy lord above I am so Thankful that you delivered me to this world a Cougar and not a Husky so that I can grow up and not be a complete tool. I am so thankful that I had parents that weren't a couple of clown shoes and decided to go to Wazzu.

Now for this, the Cougs have a very real chance of "Cougin' It" tomorrow. If they do just know that I don't care, we could lose ten Apple Cups in a row for all I give a damn. Do you know why? Because, at the end of the day I still lay my head down a Cougar and not a freaking Husky. Knowing that is all I need sleep well at night in peace and serenity.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have never been so proud! You have captured the essence of being a Coug perfectly. Please dear Lord let today be the day they reward our loyalty with a butt kicking of massive proportion. I would even take a one point win. Thank your principal for me for letting you so graciously experience the joy and/or sorrow that is Apple Cup. This is the 100th anniversary of the Apple Cup so I think it is only fitting that the Cougs win. Go Cougs!

Anonymous said...

I agree completly! Go Cougs!

Ishmael said...

I skipped, at your suggestion, your ranting against the beknighted Huskies, saviours of our society and the beloved of God. So I don't know what blaspheming you did. So I can't denounce you for it. All the better.

But, to prove I'm open-minded: Congrats to the Wazoo Poontangs. They deserve a rare (historically speaking!) win.

Mr. Iverson said...

Proving my point in the Rant exactly, a Coug would never congratulate a Husky on a win, our hate is too deep, I'll except your open mindedness I suppose, but with suspicion.

Ishmael said...

Have you ever heard of The Holiday Neck Beard movement? You could probably win King Neck Beard if you participated. www.dickbird.org/HNB/HNBhome.htm

alisha said...

FYI...your blog is loading terribly slow and I've gotten the rainbow wheel of doom a couple times lately when i've vistied your blog.

later

Halsky said...

If the huskies were an ice cream flavor they would be a sher'bitch'(a little known citrus flavor derived from sherbet). That or some unoriginal sugar free-nonfat frozen yogurt.

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