Controversy is all over Tacoma School District. The word came down that 4 middle schools are performing in the bottom 5% of the State and that the federal government requires said schools to take one of four Reform measures including closure, staff turnover, and school restructuring. My middle school doesn't fall into these categories because somehow they have been increasing scores of the lowest performers for a couple years despite being title 1. Never the less restructuring will take place and the whole school staff is in uproar over the endless possibilities of possible ramifications. People are fearful of losing their jobs and the backdoor nepotism politics that plague schools nation wide. The school is also has a considerable degree of gossip and staff click groups with some significant trust issues.
And then there I sit, with an expiration date on my service date, I lose my job no matter what. Last week I had a break down because I was trying desperately to save every child no matter what. I will still try but a staff member made a very important point to me on Friday after participating in my class and seeing what I was up against. Basically the staff member said that I had in impossible group of kids that were simply dumped on my by teachers who really couldn't handle them. My job has no definition but to simply help kids, I do my best to find their missing work, get them organized, tutor and help them and reteach if necessary but if the kid simply doesn't or won't make the decision to work on fixing their situation its really not up to me to beg them. I look at a failing student (who doesn't try as opposed to one who is trying but failing) like a person addicted to drugs/alcohol. They have to hit rock bottom and realize that they can't do it (or not do it) on their own and that they need some help. Until they hit this point they are going to continue the same shit that got them there, all I can do is be there for them and help them if possible.
I also realized that no one is really checking up on me or watching me so why am I so paranoid I'm not doing job right? Thank Jesus of Christopolis I am a born hard worker, because if someone wanted to cut corners this would be the job for them. Fortunately I love kids and wanna help them so I work my ass off all day despite the fact that no one is watching (and I'll lose my job anyway).
So with this new, don't let it get to you, attitude this week is going a lot better. I'm picking my battles, investing my energy where it can do the most good. And, that has made all the difference.
Band Practice is going well, making some major strides in the areas of Improvisational Comfort Levels between me and Kyle, I learned how to make FAT reggae beats and melodies, and we are in the process of recording and writing all the possible lyrics so that while we are improvising live we can simple pick a set of lyrics and go from there instead of being tied to a specific song.
Lots of crazy nice weather up here, thank you global weirding I guess.