Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hey Fog You Yoga Man...or...I'd Rather Have a Foggy Mind Than Foggy Beliefs

Oh don't you just love how the weather is amazing except for the days right before you leave? The last two days we've been fogged in, pea soup surrounds the island. I'm super freaked out and paranoid that I will get stuck. Think good thoughts think good thoughts think good thoughts.

I have so much riding on getting back on time. Not only do I need to get my new house key, say hello to a couple prospective employers, gather up some travel supplies, see my family and love my baby girl, I need to simply be home...um...now please.

School has come to a slow crawl, many student absences, many student mental absences, lots of last finishing up chores.

Last night I got a good chunk of the cleaning done in my apartment, the kitchen, stove, sink, cupboards, refrigerator and countertops are all done. Now all thats left is the bathroom sink, toilet, shower once more, and all the linoleum floor needs to get mopped, and the carpet vacuumed.

Additionally I need to return a cable box and transfer ownership of a tv I sold. I also have a lot of berries and trout to give away as well.

And then there is the final pack up. To get my whole life home I had to mail three $45 dollar boxes home and I'll be taking a green army duffel, a backpacker pack, and a blue storage tub for checked bags as well as a backpack with my instruments for a carry on.

Jeez....La...weeze.

In other news I've been working on really getting my Reverbnation Page up and running. It doesn't hold as many songs as my IAC (Independent Artist Company Website) Page but it seems to have a better layout for promoting, scheduling, and sharing your work and music. If you would like to become an official Kale Iverson fan and receive fan news you can put your email in above. If I know your email I might even put it in myself (you know you love me).

What else? Hmmm...Oh yeah, even though we haven't done yoga in over a month and a half I've heard that "Yoga" is under the Christian magnifying glass of some Mekoryuk believers. Other Enjoyable activities that have been deemed unfit/sinful for a good Christian to participate in are the cultural practice of Native Dancing, and Fiddle Dances (to a Live Band).

So, no dancing, no live music, no yoga...NO SOUL! It kind of reminds me of John Lithgow's rules as pastor of the town in "Footloose" with Kevin Bacon. I wonder if their are any rambunctious teens dancing in secret, playing instruments in hide outs, and doing yoga DVD's in abandoned warehouses. What kind of world would it be without dancing, music, and healthy exercise?

But you know what you can do as a good Christian in Mekoryuk that no one seems to bat and eyelash over? You can own and illegal gambling haven that rents DVD's illegally (You know that FBI warning at the beginning of movies?). And you can gamble at the Game Room illegally (but only if you're 18) Thats right. You have to legally be 18 to illegally gamble at the game room (right in front of Children). The town of Mekoryuk still hasn't seemed to be able to crack down on the raging marijuana dealing out openly in the streets, or the several creeps and sexual abusers roaming around, but Yoga, there is a dangerous thing right there, so sinful and hideous the way they get together in fellowship to breath and stretch and keep their bodies healthy, how dare they, Jesus certainly wouldn't approve thats for god damn sure.

Intolerance and Hypocrisy, not too Christian if you ask me. Another thing that I heard on Real Time with Bill Maher. Do you believe in evolution? "NO NO NO I DON'T" Fundamentalists would say. Well do you believe the swine flu exists? "Yes, yes I do." Okay, if you believe in the swine flu then you recognize that a virus was able to genetically change from mutations and jump across the species barrier of swine to human thus a product of evolution itself, in real time that we ourselves can witness, so then, if you don't accept Evolution then you should also not accept all the medicine they'll give you when you get the swine flu. Luckily you have prayers to clear that chest congestion though.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Fortunately for the residents of Mekoryuk, the big evil, devil worshiping Kale Iverson with his horrible, despicable, nasty, dirty, sinful, heretic practice of (in deep voice) EVIL DEATH SATAN YOGA will be leaving on Friday. They better pray the weather clears otherwise I'm gonna do yoga down mainstreet as everyone is going to friday night church...just kidding.

Oh well, I'd like to think that besides the very damaging and mind warping experience of practicing YOGA a couple of times, I did a lot of good for these kids and this community. In time they will remember that hopefully.

Either way 2 days and BA BA BA BOOOOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAKASHAAAAAA~! I'm out.

2 comments:

Randall H. Sloot said...

Hey when you get back can I borrow your EVIL DEATH SATAN YOGA tape please? Thanks.

Susan Iverson said...

Positive thoughts! The fog will clear, you will get on the earlier flights, you will be home tomorrow night! I think you can, I think you can, I think you can!

to view my other blog OUT OF THE CLOSET ATHEIST click HERE