I ate some bad carrots.

I think I am going to die, I ate some bad carrots today and realized after like half a bag. I think I know I'm about to get food poisoning because everyone says I'm pail and my stomach feels like something died inside it. If you don't get a blog post tonight you'll have to excuse me.

Happy Friday. Check your vegetables.

List: Late Night Gentle Observations of my life

ONE: I am going to miss David Letterman when he is gone. He is so funny and I can't stand Jay Leno. Dave cheers me up.
TWO: I accidentally bring home white board markers all the time, and then I don't take them back to school. Now they are dispersed all over my apartment, what is wrong with me?
THREE: It is currently 35 degrees F outside with a windchill temp of 17 degrees. The wind is blowing at 45 mph with gusts up to 60 mph.
FOUR: Unlike other states, I imagine it is very exciting and challenging to be a meteorologist here in Alaska.
FIVE: On the news there was a hospital bed interview of a guy who got sliced in the head with a machete by his bipolar son. The most interesting thing to me is what he said, "I'm just so thankful his roomate didn't pull the trigger (he pulled a gun). I don't blame my son, I blame the disease." This really blew my mind.
SIX: The structure of my building is shuttering in the wind.
SEVEN: I'm really mad at myself for not getting completely obsessed with Tom Waits sooner.
EIGHT: Any random additions to this list would really make me happy.

Butterscotch Morsels

Walking down the hall with and empty box and a spoon
Eating peanut butter and butterscotch morsels
Then I just eat them by themselves.
By themselves. By themselves.

Throwing away a paper plate with an orange peel
The garbage is full again so I push it down.
Push it down. Push it down.

Sweeping the incense dust on the floor because I like the smell.
The statue of Buddha don't mind.
Buddha don't mind. Buddha don't mind.

Picking up the thumbtacks on the coffee table
I put them on a shelf way up high.
Way up high. Way up high.

Wearing overalls without socks in the kitchen
The dishes are piling up they wait for me.
Wait for me. Wait for me.

I'm cleaning house and going crazy.
Singing songs to myself.
By myself. By myself.

Lists that have nothing to do with anything and something to do with everything

If you read the last blog post you are a superstar, if not you are still a super star but you are just one that didn't read that last post.

Here is a list of thing that have nothing to do with anything or something to do with everything.

One-The snow is almost gone, the rain stole it away. Now there is only mud and darkness.
Two-Did anyone try to do some love blasting today as a result of that last post? I did. I kicked some ass at life today and I'm gonna keep on kicking it till its through. You gotta take your karate chops out of despair when ever you get a chance. Don't forget your bow staff of joy.
Three-I think I figured out some major things yesterday.
Three and a half- Thats how many weeks till I get off this rock.
Four- I think I figured out some really major things yesterday.
Five- I am hug deprived.
Six- I didn't go to the Post Office today, which is my favorite thing to do everyday.
Seven- I need to remind myself that I kick ass otherwise I forget, and so do you, wait, that is you need to remind yourself that you kick ass too so you don't forget...but if you want to remind me that I kick ass you can and I will remind you that you do except not immediately after you remind me because I just reminded you right now as you read this and another one might be awkward. Oh what the hell, did you know that you kick ass?...whoever you are?...Well you do. Don't forget that otherwise others will too, wait, you will forget too also, wait, all this ass kicking is getting confusing, I'm going to stop now with the reminding of one and all about how we are all the ultimate ass kickers of life simultaneously.
Eight- I am not the one doing the teaching right now, the students are, I need to learn their lessons.
Nine- I need to learn your lessons.
Ten- I need to make more list of things that have nothing to do with anything or something to do with everything more often.
Eleven- YOU need to make more list of things that have nothing to do with anything or something to do with everything more often.
Twelve- Bela Fleck and the Flecktones Rule.
Thirteen- I need to look for more messages in life.
Fourteen- I need to figure our a way to end this list.
Fifteen- Dang it, that would have been a perfectly witty way to end it, but I kept going, such a bad decision.
Sixteen- Don't make lists that have nothing to do with anything or something to do with everything, they are addicting and could pose a problem for you if you are already crunched for time in your life.
Seventeen- I have way to much free time. Wait, are you reading this? So do you I guess, well I guess you don't have to worry about the repercussions of developing a dependency on making lists that have nothing to do with anything or something to do with everything now do you?
eighteen- I wish I had more dreams, they are cool.
nineteen- I think twenty is a good amount of things to have on a list.
twenty- I think people should add things to this list don't you?

You already know the title of this, you just can't see it yet.

Student head down motionless in class.
Me, "I let you sleep through first period, but you really need to try to get some work done today."
Student, "Are you trying to start something with me?" with a quivering lip of anger.
Me, "You have two options, you can relax and do your work like everyone else or you can go home, either way its not a big deal, but sitting here not doing anything isn't an option, I'm not even mad I'm just giving you choices." very relaxed and calm.
Student, "I can't F***ing go home right now!" Pissed off.
Me, "Then stay, chill first, try this assignment, be cool and you won't have to go home." In a soothing voice
Student, "You teachers always trying to get me going." In a biting tone (now glaring at me).
Me- "I'm even willing to look past the three F Bombs you just dropped if you relax and get to work."
Student- Head back down ignoring me.

How do you send a student home when they don't want to go home/can't go home or won't go home? What do you do when they want to stay but don't know how? When you have three students in a class you can't let little Billy in the corner doze off. One person in open defiance destroys a whole class. Therefore you have to set the standard that everyone works or leaves the room. One person can derail an entire lesson as well. The only upside is that once the expectations were set down clearly and the student was removed, the other two worked more focused and on task because they were able to learn a different type of lesson about what I want from my students, participation in the now.

I am so frustrated right now too. The lessons I want to teach these kids are not even close to what I am supposed to be teaching them. On top of that, even if I could teach what I thought they needed it would take me years to clean away the emotional rubble, baggage, and scars they carry from their past experiences. I can not in all of my own power figure out how or why I am not being recognized by my students as someone who is not feeding them the next line of bullshit.

I am not even supposed to be teaching them. They are the true teachers! All I should be doing is setting up situations for them to teach each other and themselves, but the traditional power struggle and role playing of the teacher as task setter/disciplinarian has become so ingrained in their school experience that I have to operate in such a fashion to illicit any sort of mental response what so ever. If left to their own devises they would literally rot away or spiral off into oblivion. And, if this is truly what is happening in schools, trying to somehow direct students in a specific way, even a false one, I think we are failing. We are failing at getting the students to move in any dynamic fashion at all. I am failing, I can't help them find their path if everything I say gets interpreted as the forcing of a wrong path because of previous situations.

SO, if we let them choose their direction they may choose none at all, or 5 million simultaneously none of which will be acted upon, but neither the lack of a direction or the overwhelming possibility of too many directions have anything to do with a path that is accepting and recognizing those who can help them find a meaning to what it is they are supposed to do with the rest of their lives.

I mean what is the point already? I can't teach Suzy that one day she is going to wake up and wish she would have done things differently. I can't teach Bobby that until he chooses to live he will not. I can't teach anything that is even remotely important to any of these kids in this situation. Its ridiculous. I am having a really hard time existing in this huge sham.
The reason I teach Biology is because it was the one place I thought I could find a seam in the system to clue students into the bigger happening in the world you know? Its not that I think less of the other disciplines, I just don't know how a student can't be amazed by the wonder of the living world around us. I don't know how they cannot feel the energy of life. But here I am, amongst a great people that lived and died by nature itself and I can't even get it right.

I am living in a land where the sunset has lost its appeal. I am living in a time where nothingness is the most attractive option. I am living in a place where disappointment is the only foreseeable direction. And, worst of all, I am trying to teach students who will face great impossibilities existing in an already skrewed up world that is designed for the people who are and have been skrewing it up. Not only that, these students can not return to the way their ancestors lived, the way that was one of the last harmonius ones that ever existed. Even if they could they would not want to. The shiny and lustrious glow of the electric possibilities of technological progression and destruction attracts them. The difference between my students of these great people and the rest of us is that they are still being attracted like flies to a radiating force field light that has the rest of us already zapped, dried and crusty sitting in the collecting tray.

And why not. It would be impossible for any culture to exist in harmony with nature anymore. Unless, and this is a big unless, they left the promise land of substance, harmony, organic pure existence for said artificial, robotic, blissful oblivion. You would have to come out of this beautiful situation where you were a part of the earth and it was a part of you. Death was natural and beautiful and not something to be avoided and medicated against. You would have to leave the light to try and manufacture your own so that you could gain the perspective that the natural light was brighter all along.

I think that is what is happening. You have to experience the opposite of your existence so that you can appreciate what you had. You have to taste the bitter deep in your soul so that you can remember what sweet really tasted like. You have to hit rock bottom to know what the surface felt like. You have to walk into line of fire to know if you are really alive. Culturally this is what is happening. We are hitting the same point as a culture of global humans that I am realizing simultaneously in my own experience. You don't know what you had going for you. You don't know what you got until its gone. And you'll never be able to appreciate anything until you live the opposite way. We tried the technology/medicine/commercial/government thing for a while now, and where has it gotten us? Instead of living we try to live easier. Instead of getting sick we worry about getting sicker. Instead of using what we need, we take what we cannot replenish, instead of being good loving people we make rules saying that you should be so.

WE DID ALL THIS for ourselves so that we could come to a consciousness as a species that would show us that all we needed was the way it was before. I mean its so unbelievably ironic to me that we had to learn how to do all this crap so that we can learn how to un do it.
Where the Eskimo, or the Native American, or the Aborigini, or the Pigmy or any of the indigenous people of the earth are is only at a starting of a long, painful journey down a road they must go on, a road that they have no choice but to go so that they can see for themselves, like every other culture that has taken the path, the futility and despair of this direction. You don't know what you got until its gone, I tell you what.

I don't consider indigenous less advanced than Western culture, I consider them luckier to have had the bonus time that they did developing a culture around the ways of the earth. I have no doubt in my mind that when the earth decides to rear her powerful head back and sneeze the mucousy human forth from her being only the creatures who are meant to continue on will. And, I'm pretty sure that running an I-pod isn't going to be a very helpful skill to have following a complete reset like mother earth is capable of. Lest we forget oh feeble humans that the earth has extinguished over 60 to 90 percent of all life on the planet many times over in the past. We are so delusional to think that we may be different. We are not the ultimate life force, we are just the next shiny version of things that came before us.

So here you sit reading this, even worse, here I sit typing this on my white stallion oblivion robot machine, no one is more to blame than I. I the car driving, plastic using, electricity wasting, soda pop drinking, waster of us all. Where am I in this journey? How far have I made it towards realizing the great truth of it all? How have I rationalized the things I do? How have I formed the meaning to all this? And why oh sweet holy mother of all that is holy can't I stop doing it? Why can't we knock it off? I don't think we've really realized what is happening yet? We might not for a while now. Good ol' Earthman hasn't hit rock bottom yet and neither have I. It isn't until you are staring down the hot steaming throat of the end that you finally decide that it might not be a good idea to go laying around in the mouths of beasts.

Now tell me, where can I find a curriculum that has that in it? How do I test that? How do I give a kid a C+ in realizing their own horrifying existence? You can't. You ultimately have no control over the trip each and everyone of us is on. I can sell all this bullshit all I want to, but no matter what anyone says, I don't believe any of us really know what the hell is going on. How do you teach what you don't really know, what you never will know and what no one else knows?

What I'm trying to say from the bottom of my soul is that I am not teaching with enough love. It is the one unexplainable thing we have left. I want more LOVE in my teaching you know? I want my students to feel the love. I want you to feel the love all the way from over there. I want to blast it out of my chest like a fire extinguisher filled with explosive rainbows. I want there to be haphazard love splashed all over everywhere like a loose garden hose in a small room so that no one is left dry from love. All you can do is look around and laugh at how unbelievably soaked you are in love. And that is the one thing I can change. I thought I was bringing enough love to the table everyday. But I got lazy. I got fat, and out of shape with love. Maybe I'm not the only one. I'm not waiting for tomorrow to start blasting people with my sunshine lazer beam dammit. You better look out. You better not try to hide in a dark shadowy corner somewhere cuz I'll find you, you and your sad little but are mine.

SO thats my challenge, you don't have to take it but it would be awesome if I knew how others are going at trying it. I'm going on the lookout for opportunities to blast people with love. I'm not talking about saving a starving orphan in a far away country. I'm not in shape for that yet. I'm talking about what I CAN do. What I can actually do right around me. Who can you blast with a dose of love today. Do it in your way, I'll do it in mine and then we'll talk about it. If you can't recognize already, what I'm talking about is this, if you can blast love and joy, do, whenever possible, but in the between time at least try to

RADIATE WARMTH.

Song Lyrics for "The Bill" from "A Whisper Wind" Due Christmas 2007

The Bill

All I ever wanted was a life that I could be proud of
And all I got was one that was alone.
All I wanted was somebody else’s life
But all I got was my own.
You never seem to come out on the right side of the bill.
So I say “You just go your own way and get your fill.”
Get you fill while you can.
There ain’t no seconds in life my main man.
No, there will never be a new way of going down.
Don’t you hope that you might drown sometimes?
Because you only see all the pain?
Because you only see peoples lives going down the drain?
Now you just look around.
There’s no way to go down.

Hey man how are you going to make sense of this situation?
There is so much that is outside of your relation.
There is so much you wish that you could connect to
But It just keeps on flying away.
If you’re not easy then you might make it to the next day.
If you’re too hard then you’ll surely seal your fate.
Better get on the right side of the bill before it’s too late.




Now don't get all freaked out, its just a song, I'm not depressed and if you read carefully you'll see that its not written from my perspective. So chill, I'm fine!

WEEKLY INFORMATION

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN

MUSICAL ARTIST OF THE WEEK: Santana "Lotus" Live discs 1 and 2 this artist of the week not only gets the honor of me telling you this is what I'm really jamming on this week but it also comes with a major Kudos to Will Gonzales (a friend of my Dad's at Boeing and all around super dude) for giving me this album right before I left for Alaska. I don't know how easy it is to get a hold of this album but if you can you should. It sounds like a latin percussion team with no regard for personal safety and a synthesizer loving alien with a faulty lazer gun had a baby live on stage. Needless to say I love it.

OLD PERSON PHRASE OF THE WEEK: "Gee Willickers!" Holy crow, you really got to try an weave this bad ace phrase into your daily life. You already do? Well GEE WILLICKERS thats incredible. Anyways, try and let me know how your implementation of our old phrase preservation efforts have been going by commentig below.

Here is a review of all the old person phrases thus far "You Betcha" "Holy Crow" "Wise Acre" "My Lucky Stars" "I'll Be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail" Yes Siree Bob" "Okey Dokey"
If you can use all of those in a coherent sentence I'll send you a gift in the mail.

WEATHER UPDATE FOR THIS WEEK:
It is currently warming up a little we are at 32 deg. F with a windchill at 19 deg. F
We got about 2 inches of slushy snow last night and at 3 pm on Sunday it is coming down in a sideways fashion nonstop. It is a very Northwest Washington like wet snow at the moment.

ART PROJECT UPDATE:

My second album "A Whisper Wind" is nearing completion (9 songs and about 4 more to go) It will include 3 covers one each by Van Morrison, Jack Johnson and Alanis Morissette.

My electronic/no words album under the artist title Aliverson Rise currently has eleven songs and the name has been changed to "Tundroptica." The names of the songs are: Ice Fog, Rain Dropper, Racing Snails, Elusive Weasel, Flying Earthworm Revenge, Owl and Mouse, Jellyfish Funeral, Dance of the Ox, Loon Landing, Teasing Waves, Goose Patrol

For the record this album is going to melt your brain.

COUGS WIN!!!! COUGS WIN!!!!

Fight Fight Fight for Washington State baby! Wooooo Hooooooo. Oh man I am so freaking happy I could jump out a window. Thats right, the Cougs pulled it off 42-35. Although we tried to Coug IT early on (allowing an opening kick off return for a TD) we eventually overcame our own mistakes to win in the last 30 seconds of the game. Alex Brink gets to end his Cougar career on a positive note (3 time Apple Cup Winner) which I am makes me happy for our often under appreciated quarterback (under appreciated because he has never taken us to a Bowl Game). The only down side to the game was the awesome play of the Huskies freshman QB Jake Locker who I will have to deal with for three more years. I hate that guy but he is dang good. "Jake Locker" can you think of a more Huskyish name than that...oh yeah Brock Huard was pretty bad. Well I guess all you Huskies will have tomorrow to lick your wounds and the foam from your lattes before returning once again to work so that you can walk to your cubicle embarrassed to be a Husky. Don't worry I'm sure you think of some pathetic excuse or someone to blame by then.

GO COUGS!!!!!

Slide Shows and Belated Turkeys and GO COUGS!!!!

So pumped about the slide show function being added to the blog. I have three up and running currently on the blog now. Are they slowing the loading time down to much for you guys cuz I can take it off or down to one. Let me know if they are cool okey dokey?

I got to go to my principal's home for a belated Thanksgiving dinner. It was awesome. They even gave me left overs which was so nice. Then I got to watch the whole Hawaii vs. Boise State game on tv. It was like heaven, they're even going to let me come back tomorrow to watch the APPLE CUP. All I have to say is GO COUGS!!!!!!!. Yeah baby!!!!!

THE FOLLOWING IS VERY ANGRY RAMBLING INCOHERENT BANTER CONCERNING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUSKIES AND COUGARS. IF YOU ARE A HUSKY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT READ ANY FARTHER. I WILL NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES HERE FORTH. BESIDES, I WOULDN'T WANT YOU SPILLING YOUR DOUBLE TALL SUGAR FREE EXTRA HOT CARMEL MACCIATTO NO FOAM NO WHIP NO SOUL LATTE.

I know this is supposed to be semi intellectual but I just have to say something for the record. I don't watch that much baseball, I hate the NFL, I'm not a hockey guy, there is only one sport I watch and that is college football. I watch it because of the Washington State Cougars. They are not a good team but they are my team. I have stood by them one embarrassing year after another and I always will. Tomorrow they are playing what I can only describe as a bunch of sniveling, whining, pretty boys from the University of Washington. Now I'm sure there are nice Huskies out there but I rarely meet one worth much (minus a few friends and relatives). For the most part they are upper crusty upturned nosey pansy purple wearing beamer driving Daddy's boys that would sue your ass out of house and home to pay off their country club bill. There are also a lot of people that are husky fans that just live in Seattle and didn't even go there. Other Huskies would sell those ones out for a $25 dollar gift certificate to Nordstroms in a heartbeat. Huskies don't have each others backs. Huskies aren't unified. Huskies just plainly suck. Got a problem with it too bad.
Now a cougar never shuns another cougar. We are the gritty, poor, underdog, farm kids from the middle of nowhere. We get no respect, we are shat on in the press, but we don't care if you are rich or poor, black or white, green or blue, man or woman, the only thing you can't be is purple. Once a Coug always a Coug.

Now, you'll hear a Husky say "I root for both teams...blah blah blah...where's my latte...rah rah rah...the Cougs aren't so bad..." You will never, and I repeat never, hear a Cougar rooting for the Huskies. Do you know why? Because we freaking hate them. I HATE THE HUSKIES SO MUCH AHAAAAAAAAAAA. I wouldn't wear a purple shirt if it was going to save my life. I hate the fibers of their souls. If you are a Husky I don't hate you personally, I just hate everything your college stands for. Call it ignorance, biligerancy, mean spiritedness, or unjustified I don't care. If you think I'm being a jerk then you don't know what it means to be a Coug.
You see we Cougs face the greatest challenge anyone can face no matter who the opponent. Our greatest enemy as a Coug is really ourselves. We have a term "Cougin' It" which means that no matter how impossible it may be for us to skrew up and lose a game we will find a way. We will fumble it on the one yard line. We will have a kick blocked for the game winner. We will pull all kinds of amazing blunders to ensure we are not successful at winning a game. To know that this is inevitable for your team and root for them anyways is truly what makes being a Coug a Coug. That way we know that if we beat you then we also didn't lose to ourselves (which is what we expected to do). That's why when a Cougar wins its like getting the joy of winning two games in one!

Being a Cougar doesn't rely on standings, wins or jersey designs (I hate the University of Oregon Ducks second most, you and Nike go flip yourselves), being a Cougar means taking a steady, extra salty dose of the bitter taste of defeat year after year so that when our time does come it is so unbelievably freaking sweet that you could just burst with joy. The only thing that could possibly redeem a year like the one we're currently having is marching into that Yuppie infested Husky Stadium and kicking the crap out of those Polo wearing panty waists.

Now I'm sorry I strayed from the "RADIATE WARMTH" theme of this blog. I will try and turn it around. Here, how about this being the Thanksgiving season and all, sweet lordy lord above I am so Thankful that you delivered me to this world a Cougar and not a Husky so that I can grow up and not be a complete tool. I am so thankful that I had parents that weren't a couple of clown shoes and decided to go to Wazzu.

Now for this, the Cougs have a very real chance of "Cougin' It" tomorrow. If they do just know that I don't care, we could lose ten Apple Cups in a row for all I give a damn. Do you know why? Because, at the end of the day I still lay my head down a Cougar and not a freaking Husky. Knowing that is all I need sleep well at night in peace and serenity.

ART UPDATE: Drawings of Imaginology

Thanksgiving

Even though I am all alone on an island in the Bering Sea for thanksgiving (some plans fizzled out) I have a lot to be thankful for. I am thankful for a loving family (Hal Mom and Dad), many friends (who still stay in touch from far away), and many to come. I'm thankful to have a job and enough food to eat. I'm thankful to exist in a world that is just the right mixture of triumph and sorrow, friendship and loneliness, reward and punishment, love and hate, joy and pain. I am thankful I still have the foresight to know which of those I seek. I am thankful for a healthy body to carry out my meaning. I'm grateful to live on an earth that refuses to breakdown although it has the right to. I'm grateful for all the travels I've been on that have allowed me to learn one journey at a time. I'm thankful for all the relationships I've had with people that teach me more about myself than I can ever hope to absorb. I'm thankful for you who reads this. But most of all I am grateful and thankful for the awestruck wonder that only this life can provide. It is what I seek from day to day and it is what I cherish about you, and it is what can keep me in the flow.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

They're Gone

Oh sweet lord of lords, I can't tell you how sweet a feeling it is to know that you will not have to see your students for FOUR whole days. I just can't believe it, its like a miracle or something. I was about ready to kick em out the door. I mean, I love the little buggers, I really do, but I really need a break from the whining, complaining, apathy, attitudes, and lack of will to live for just a moment so that I don't become infected by it. I'm only 24, I get affected by my environment and if I am surrounded by negative attitudes and depressed demeanors (which has been the cool thing to do as a teen ager since the grunge era "Thanks a lot Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan") I will start to act like that too. I need 4 day breaks so that I can fill up my happy tanks. I need my happy tanks full so that come monday morning I can come into class with my Happy Blowtorches and pump happy firey sunshine up all their little, cold, dark, black hooded butts. If I don't show them that you can be in a good mood everyday, day in and day out then they may never realize it is possible. And, guess what, if I fake being in a good mood I eventually really am in one.

How Can I Astound Thee, Let Me Count the Ways

My snowmachine training got canceled because the temperature just dropped to about 5 deg F and a windchill of -15 deg. F. The wind is howlin' sumpin furce out der. What else? I got new shoes in the mail, Yesss! I got a small fake plastic tree from my mom (and lights) in the mail, sweet! And thanks to my new hero Alisha I now know how to post videos to my blog. MuHAHAHAH. I'm have so many good and evil thoughts simultaneously. This tool might be just what I need to take over the world. Now I can write my perspective to share with you, I can record songs about life and send them to you, I can take video's and show you, the next step is full on mental telepathy right...When are they going to come out with that technology anyways?

Old Jellyfish Video Test

Snowmachine Lessons

So the cat's out of the bag. My principal found out I've never been on a snowmachine before. Which is apparently something to be embarrassed about around these parts. So today after class I have snowmachine (snowmobiles everywhere else) lessons. I grew up in a family that didn't shoot guns and didn't ride personal motorized vehicles. So sue me. Maybe I will get to ride a snowmachine up to the airport to collect dissection supplies. All I need to do now is fire a gun somehow by the end of the day and I can really stray far away from my roots.

Thank You Noble Creature

I am not a sadist, it really is for the kids, its better than it going to waste.

I did happen to get a head from which I salvaged most of a brain (although the bullet ruined part) and two intact eyes. I also got an intestinal tract, respiratory tract and a heart. Yesss! (in Napoleon Dynamite esk tone)

I might get to go organ harvesting tomorrow if I'm lucky...how many times do you get to say that in your life?

Nevermind

I think I was forgotten by my principal. Maybe I'll walk up there after school. So disappointing sitting in my classroom in full snow gear sweating. Nevermind.

Slaughter Time!

I'm about to go up to the reindeer slaughterhouse to try and pick through carcasses for good anatomy/physiology specimens for dissection. They hearded about 600 in this year and I'm going to pick through them all if I have to. The things we do for our kids. I guess I'm going to get pretty bloody so I'll make sure to take lots of pictures. Formally, this is what I'm looking for:

10 brains (in tact hopefully)
1 heart (hard to get)
An in tact respiratory tract (trachea, lungs and diaphragm)
As many eyeballs as possible
Stomach/intestines (connected if possible)
Possibly genitals...oh my god.
Blood Vessels and Veins
Skin sections


Depending on how many are available I might have enough for a class set, I'm hoping I don't throw up in the process. Wish me luck.

Artist and Phrase of the Week

I know its early for this but I couldn't wait.

Artist of the Week: Bob Marley "Songs of Freedom"
Now I can already hear the "Typical Hippie" snickers coming from most of you but I swear to the lordy lord that when I am down and blue (which I'm not, I'm fine but I might be soon, I'm getting a little homesick around the holidays) Bob Marley is one of the only people who can make me happy, or in his words, "when the music hits you feel no pain." Consequently a big part of it is that when I hear that reggae bass thump I can't help but shake my booty, and that always cheers a hippie right up. So snicker away, I will be dancing, happy, a dancing happy hippie.

Old Geezer Phrase of the Week: "You bet cha" alternate pronunciation "You bet cher"
Well I don't need to point out the versatility of this old school phrase but you betcher ass there is a lot of ways you can use "You betcher" in a sentence. It can be a sing of conversational conformation: "Can you do that for me" "You betcha" or it can be used to point out the quality of something "You betcher bottom dollar that there aint no _______ like this in the world"

Weather Report Lately the weather has been "Arcticky" "North Pole ish" and "Dark Side of the Moony"
Temps have dropped to a day time high of 20 deg. F with a wind chill around 12 deg. F
We are currently experiencing a good amount of sideways ground wind and snow is coming down irregularly. The forecast for the week is more "butt ass cold" weather followed by a good chance of several days of "Freaking Bone chilling" cold patches. In other words, its colder than a burrito in a freezer out here.

Current Art Projects Progress (NEW WEEKLY FEATURE!!!) I have now finished 9 complete songs for my next album "A Whisper Wind" I feel like this album will show a lot of growth, technical improvement and a few covers (since the album is free I'm not too worried about getting sued).
I am also working on an all computer generated electronica album under the artist name Aliverson Rise. This album already has about 7 songs and will be titled "Tripno Jazzy Funkadelic Soulhoptica"
I'm getting some good feedback on "I Need Life" so I hope people will be interested in getting these albums too.
I am drawing a lot, mostly black sharpie and colored pencil. I am trying to draw a lot of scientific like drawings that are actually made up organisms. Right now I have been drawing a lot of plantlife, micro organisms, cells, viruses and things like that. I realized I should draw what I know, Biology.
All of the poetry I have been writing goes into the blog or song lyrics, as I get closer to finishing "A Whisper Wind" I will post all the song lyrics.

Thanks for reading and let your light shine out brightly.

Sunday

Today was a good day. I slept in so late. I got up and made pancakes, bacon and eggs, talked to some wonderful friends on the phone, watched the Seahawks play the Bears, and generally sat around on my duffer drinking coffee.

I guess what I really want to say is that I'm not exactly sure who reads this blog. I don't really know my audience. But I do know that people are reading it. Its a little pressure. What if I took a break, what if I didn't write anything interesting. I mean, I don't know where all this is going. I guess it is a good way to keep in touch with people. That's a good thing I suppose. So if you read back over the last few months there is a lot of fluffy stuff like that, which is fine. But if you read back you will see a lot of serious stuff, a lot of poetry, a lot of song lyrics and a lot of creative writing. I feel like there are two types of blogs stuck in this one. I don't know what people want to hear about from up here. Like I should make a secret blog for just my art you know? There is a lot of stuff I want to say but can't because I don't know how much this space has been compromised. Students could read it, people at my district office could read it. I mean I am definitely not down with "the man." But I also don't want to stop writing. I just want you all to know that I'm sorry if this blog is too fluffy for you. Likewise, I'm sorry if it is too artsy for you. Either way its the way it has to be because I don't think I could forgive myself for having two blogs. This one will have to stay PG-13 for now I guess.

That being said, who are you readers? I don't want to be self absorbed but really. Here's my best guess of the people who read this blog. My parents and family, members of my family that my mom has told, people at my Dad's work, people at my Mom's work, my brother and some of his friends at school, some of my friends (but not as many as you would think), some fellow teachers in Bethel, some of my students, some of my former students, and maybe some random people I cannot fathom. If this is the case, then why don't people comment? I do get comments. I am very happy with the people that do. But if you've gone through the trouble to read the blog you might as well click the comment button at the bottom of the post and take the 30 seconds to tell me I'm crazy or stop whining or thats interesting or something you think of. I am not talking to people who comment on my blog regularly, I'm talking about all you
other readers that never say anything. I mean this isn't some elite place, this space needs input otherwise I am going to run out of inspiration. When people ask me to write about something or comment it helps me better serve the readers. I've already written one of these pleas for comments posts a while back and it didn't seem to make a very large impact, I'm not going to write one again. But if I am spending all this time (consequently I have a lot to spend) and you are reading all this product then why don't we all get together and make this blog less about me and more about the reader. I mean, lets get some discussion going. Please. Ok thats enough complaining on my part for now, I'm going to go back to sitting on my ass for the rest of the day and maybe later I will write something else that is not so whiney. Good day.

Untitled

Blank sparkle wind rage
Furrowed brows down
Trudge along
Bundled up
In air with teeth
But Voices lost in the gust
And agility futile
Rather lumber fantastic
With elderly brittle steps
And footprints gigantic
Bones and heavy planks
And ice cracking
With water eyes
I've got to
Get inside
Soon
Or
I
Will
Freeze
From inside
Out
But a heat
Radiates
From the
Center of me
Coat eternal
Mind of fire
I walk on
Burning coals
No matter
The Surface

Wednesday Already

Man, the weeks are really flying by now. I think Its because I can smell Christmas break right around the corner. Next week is Thanksgiving...can you believe it?!! It will be the first Thanksgiving away from home in a long time...or the first in general. That kind of ticks me off because I really am going to miss all the family, friends...and mostly the food. Turkey, stuffing, gravy, green bean casserole, marshmellow yams, mash potatoes, cranberry sauce, rolls, more gravy, some weird onion thing, beetles, cheeseburgers, hammers, leprechauns, ok I threw those last ones in to see if you were paying attention.

Well I guess the weather is holding at just about 30 degrees with a windchill that puts us at 17 degrees or so. I already walked to the post office and it was a little uncomfortable I'll admit. It is pretty cold out there. The skies out on the horizon of the Bering Sea look so black that they could spit forth a demon with horns to ravage the face of the earth with its lightning bolt stare and flaming breath and thunder voice. But I guess all that will translate to is more fog and more snow...(up to one foot maybe tonight).
It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas out here. The snowmachiners (snowmobiles) are buzzing around, the ground is fresh with fallen snow, their are reindeer frolicking in the distance (not really, that was added for effect), and I feel like a young Kris Kringle with my beard and various stocking caps. I think I need some Christmas lights for my apartment, and I don't know what I'm going to do about a tree because we don't have any on the island at all.
I guess what I need next is elves, I could definitely see some of the kindergarteners in creepy felt costumes milling around the island doing my bidding. Yes I know what the story is about now. Santa must be from Nunivak Island. It all makes sense...Now I just need to solve the whole flying around the world thing, the whole fitting down the chimny thing, the whole knowing how every girl and boy in the world has behaved all year thing, and how to simultaneously manufacture an grant an approximate 3 billion distinctly different Christmas wishes.

Why do kids believe in Santa Claus, it is completely scientifically ludicrous. I can't believe I fell for it, I was a smart kid and I was such a sucker for Santa. It is the great master joke of parenting that once a year for about 7 years you get to lie to your child for a whole month about a fictitious man that lives in an inhospitable habitat with non existent elves that make every toy imaginable to be delivered to every good child on one night while they are asleep. I mean its actually kind of sick and twisted in a way.
We lie to our children a lot. The fact that a large bunny comes around yearly laying eggs full of goodies for children to find is also rather disturbing. Of course there is also the tooth fairy a tu-tued angel of the night that collects your lost teeth in exchange for money from right out from under your head sleeping on the freaking pillow! CREEPY! Why the hell does she want teeth? Where does she get all the money? (From her denture factory thats where!)

This being said, we should invent a holiday. We'll have it in the middle of summer since that is the one time of year we haven't invented something to lie to our kids about. We will call the holiday "Awesomus" We'll hold it the first Friday in July If that happens on the 4th of July then it will be called "Grand Awesomus."On this holiday a magical invisible Striped Bass named Larry will go around leaving refreshing sugary beverages in icey coolers, chocolate candy bars to melt in the sun, popsickles of course, ice cream, also kids will also wake up with a box full of pop its, sparklers, firecrackers, bottle rockets and various other low grade explosives (this will be set aside from 4th of July), the traditional food will be Barbeque hamburgers and hot dogs and potato salad. At high noon the ceremonial slip and slide contest will commence. There will also be horse shoes, croquet, lawn darts and badminton for adults. It is tradition that the kids assault the adults in an all out water balloon attack at precisely 3:30 pm. The adults traditionally pretend to get mad. As the sun sets on Awesomus a fire must be made to honor Invisible Larry the Magical Striped Bass that makes all this possible for us. Kids will hold hands around the fire and sing Awesomus carols. These will include the infamous summer classic "When you're sliding into first and you feel a juicy burst diarrhea dun dun diarrhea dun dun ..." kids will also sing "This is the song that never ends..." and various other songs to annoy adults. Adults can and are encouraged to scare the piss out of the kids with ghost stories and if someone has an instrument play it. The Awesomus finale every year will be when crazy Invisible Larry Appears in human form as a stumbling, mumbling, slurred speech adult who talks too close to others and is way too loud. The person who has been possessed by Larry the invisible striped bass must also insult others and make romantic advances towards people with no regard for their own integrity. The adults will all quickly give the "possessed" person coffee and take them away from the kids. Unlike Santa or the Easter bunny most people are mildly ashamed of Larry. But hey, he is what is...just make sure he doesn't drive his Camaro back to Alabama where he spends the rest of the year getting ready for Awesomus.

Man, I can not wait to celebrate the first ever official Awesomus this summer. Unfortunately that is half a year away. But like all great holidays, you have to wait...the anticipation is killing me.

Artist and Phrase of the week.

The Artist of the Week is:
J.J. Cale from the album "Naturally"
This guy is really awesome and has a really good delivery. My favorite song is "Call me the Breeze" Its a perfect cooking dinner song.

Old Person Phrase of the Week:
"MY LUCKY STARS!..." This should be used when you are generally surprised by something or want to make a big deal out of nothing. Here's an example you see an owl flying by you say "MY LUCKY STARS AN OWL!" I like to say it in front of "homework" to make the point that it is a miracle/rare occurance to have students turn it in.

Also I will try to include a weekly picture of my beautiful viking beard progress also. As you can see it is very long and luscious (Parts are 4 " long). Have a good week.

Sunday Slowly

I got up at 1 o'clock in the afternoon today. I took a shower and cleaned my apartment. I did not go to church and it felt good. I went to the store to buy eggs and sour cream. I did some wash. I took a nap. I did a little planning for school. I wrote a blog post. See, life isn't so different up here...except that it is about 26 deg. F with a windchill at 16 deg. No snow today, sunny skies, feels like a walk in freezer outside. The snow is here to stay I believe, I also think we are freezing up underneath the ground. I can't wait for the river to freeze up so I can go ice fishing. I'll put more pictures up when I get my replacement USB camera chord in the mail. Have a good Sunday.

Also I have a Cu'Pig name now, Massuucikili (Ma Su Ja Key Lee) it means the one who carries things up hill...interesting because thats how I feel all the time.

Daily Weather Report

Someone has requested a daily weather report and a possible tour of my village. I will start with the weather reports which I think is a good idea and give a village tour later when I have more time.
Today we've had on and off snow showers, about 4 inches so far and 2 pm, its currently 28 deg. F and 17 with the windchill. I would describe the weather as "Arcticky" but not frigid. I got some snow stuck in my beard earlier when I walked down to the store at lunch. The clouds give way frequently to let the sun shine through. But, we have a saying out here "If you don't like the weather then just wait a minute." Its completely true.

Thats the weather for today. I will be watching college football for a while. Bioja!

Fridaysia and Ogre's

Well I will fore go the suspense and just say that I made it to Fridaysia. It was not as close as I thought. I overslept because of the arduous journey so far. The sleep nymphs overdosed me with their stupid magic so I was rushed all morning. Then if that wasn't enough, my trusty unicorn got Mad Unicorn disease and ran off of a cliff. I tried to flag down a griffin buy they charge to much. So I had to limp the rest of the way. Then when I got to the gates of Castle Fridaysia their was an ornery guard named "Staffy Meetington the Impaler" who hassled me for hours. I finally was able to dart passed him into the courtyard of Castle Fridaysia. It was only once I was safely basking in the sun that I realized a horrible thing. Fridaysia had been tainted. It wasn't how I remembered it. Had I been soured by the perilous journey? No, it really was a nice journey over all, no major set backs. Something didn't feel right. That is when I was smacked in the back of the head with a large club. I turned around to see the most disgusting and putrid Ogre I had ever seen. I had heard of this particular ogre and he was named Lastus Minutous Emailious. In a low gravelly voice he beckoned down to my lifeless body in booming ogre speak,
"YOU THINK FRIDAYSIA IS A FAIRY TAIL ENDING, MUHAHAHAHA."
A broken warrior, I started to cry. He continued,
"YOU HAVEN'T HEARD? FRIDAYSIA HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER BY THE EVIL WITCH SATURDAMIA CULTURA CLASSIA AND HER CRYSTAL BALL THE POLYCOMIA."
I gasped at the horror. "You mean the Witch Saturdamia Cultura Classia and her 610 evil winged monkeys are here?"
"YES, MUHAHAHA, AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN THE THEM SHRIEK ALL DAY LONG TOMORROW UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED AND YOU GO INSANE. IF YOU TRY TO ESCAPE YOU WILL FAIL YOUR JOURNEY."
I some how rose to my knees. I stared up at the heavens, cursed God, wept, and then the Ogre said, "AND YOU HAVE TO MEMORIZE THIS USELESS MANUSCRIPT BY TOMORROW MORNING, GET UP AND BE THERE TO WATCH THE SHRIEKING AT 8 AM AND RECITE THE CONTENTS OF THE USELESS MANUSCRIPT IN FRONT OF THE CRYSTAL BALL POLYCOMIA THAT MAGICALLY BROADCASTS YOUR HELPLESS PAIN TO 30 OR SO OTHER TRAPPED WARRIORS."
I crawled underneath a bale of hay and tried to sleep, terrified of the fate that would become me tomorrow. God help the other warriors thought before I passed out in a pool of my own salty tears.

I thought...

I thought I was done writing tonight. After my last post, another attempt to turn my life into a fairy tale fantasy quest, I felt unsatisfied. So I'm here because of the ONE. The ONE is specifically the ONE channel I get on my beautiful free fake wood 70's tv gets. The ONE is a magical mixture of NBC, CBS, PBS and FOX programming that seems to have no rhyme or reason. Thursdays are usually NBC so I get to see some good shows. Tonight I was all excited to watch Adam Sandler on Conan O'brien when mysteriously the ONE switched over to CBS right after the nightly news. This usually pisses me off because I really like Conan. Luckily I also like David Letterman.
As I was laughing my butt off at the stupid old geezer comedy that Dave provides I said out loud "Oh Dave." Thats when I realized I was talking to myself again. These moments always astound me. I can't believe I freaking talk to myself. This realization is almost always is followed by the thought "I am so lonely." I think I talk to myself to pretend like I am not the only one home and that my best friend, or girlfriend, or family member is sitting in the chair or something. But I am the only one here. I am the only one here, me and the other personalities starting to manifest in my mind. That's right folks! I'm losing it. I'm losing my marbles! WHOO HOO I'm going looney tunes for good. I'm a couple bricks shy of a full load. I'm missing some bats in my belfry. I'm not all there upstairs.
I have voices in my head. No I don't. Don't listen to him, thats the other person up there. No its not. Shut up! I will not, you've been hiding me too long. Whatever. Don't whatever me, I will bury you!!!!! You mean you will bury us? Well yes naturally. I thought so. No we thought so. Naturally. Well, sucker, there is nothing natural about it. What do you know about natural you don't even exist. I don't exist? Am I not typing on your stupid blog right now? I think I exist just fine buster. Don't call me buster, last time I checked I was still running the show around here. Yeah, well, not for long. Oooh so scared. You should be. Well I'm not because how do you know that I didn't simply make you up to entertain my blog readers? Uh, well, um, ok you got me there. Exactly, so shut up like I said before and let me get back to my readers you pompous ass. Ok, sorry for the interuption. Thanks
Excuse us for that little squabble. Regardless of whether I am crazy or just trying to make you laugh I am pretty bored up here. Now, Leanne Rymes is singing on Dave and I can't even complain about how much I hate popular country music to anyone. I'm not a hateful person. But new country music is so annoying. I feel like none of the country stars these days really knows what it is to be country anymore. They live in mansions for crying out loud. Oh wait, Craig Fergeson is on now....no wait I have complained enough. But Conan is simply the master of late night and this guy is a chump. I'm done, I'm going to bed...alone...with my thoughts...which may or may not be from only one person in my head...goodnight.

Thursday Thieves

Yes, as I predicted the Thursday Thieves of time came. They came with a fury early in the morning. First, they messed with my snooze button...or my ability to keep hitting it for over an hour. At this crucial point in the journey towards the wonderous halls of the lands of Fridaysia I can afford no slip along the narrow trail. Needless to say Thursday was a shifty and shapeless foe. At times I could not tell if it was the enemy itself or my own exhausted hallucinations. Swinging wildly and frantically through foggy mess of the day dropped to my knees a broken warrior, the drawbridge to Castle Fridaysia in the near distance. I wept openly as I lay down exhausted on a bed of pine bows next to a unicorn. As forest nymphs circled above my head sprinkling magical sleeping dust down upon me I drifted into a deep fantasy induced sleep. Tomorrow I will confidently march into Fridaysia which has long been fabled to be ruled by the beautiful and nurturing Princess Halfdaisy. As part of her ruling laws Princess Halfdaisy decried that every Friday in Fridaysia students in schools will be required to go home following lunch! This is why many teachers in Fridaysia often do a special Princess Halfdaisy celebratory dance to honor her and the beautiful kingdom she governs. I can only imagine how it will feel.

Tuesday and Wednesday

The Tuesday troll was asleep. I snuck by him on my quest toward the great and magical Castle of Fridaysia. Now trolls can be harmless when they rest quietly. But you certainly can't go skipping by a troll like Tuesday all "Ladi dah ladi day." If you disturb the Tuesday troll he can put a horrible curse on you . He could give you a sickness. Or worst of all, he could give you the dreaded plague of mindless paperwork. But, I passed Tuesday the troll without incident, his head lay comfortably rested on the end of a mossy log.
As you continue on your quest towards Fridaysia a great turning point comes in your journey as you climb the great hill towards the Mystical Gates of Wednesday. Although the slow climb towards these glowing gates is often arduous and long once you walk through their golden arching arms at precisely 12 o'clock knowing from that moment on you are simply counting down the minutes till your blessed arrival to the sacred castle sanctuary that only Fridaysia can offer!
As I turn back to see the beautiful Mystical gates of Wednesday over my shoulder I know the journey is far from over. Tomorrow the Thieves of Thursday will come after my precious time, and oh what could be more frustrating than a gang of time thirsty sprites out to pull the clock right out from under your nose?

A Poem I wrote in the summer.

A loves end comes dirty and ashamed like a child fallen in mud.
Or sometimes, like a rabbit jumping into a burrow.
Other times it goes out like a fire in a raining morning.
Love leaves us and we leave it like a little brother on a Saturday night.
Love scares us like a car accident, inevitable, calm and shocking.
Love wanders out of our lives as the elderly wander aisle to aisle in a store.
Love warns us like a beacon lighthouse off the shore of rocky oblivion.
Love staggers us like a punch in the gut.
Love lifts us above its head and says "Who's my special boy?"
Love takes hostages and tortures them endlessly.
Love sweeps us into a dustpan.
It can begin in a shore break crashing the beach and then ebb away glimmering in the sand.
Scars as permanent as bullet holes it leaves behind.
Love embeds itself in our shattered marrow.
Love is empty like the cup that I drink from.
Love is a game where nobody wins and somebody loses.
Unbalanced love, the worst kind, tips the scales in pricey directions.
Love knows your faults and eats them for breakfast.
Love strings you out on a clothes line.
Love is warm like an old blanket.
Love is cold like and empty home.
Love is strenuous like an uphill climb.
Love is easy like a water slide.
Love is a place you love to go but seldom do.
Love is where you grew up.
Love is where you grow old.
Love is massive and twinkling.
Love is scrawny and weak.
Love is an embarrassment to the family.
Love is unacceptable and expected.
Love is somewhere in Antarctica.
Love is a crater on the moon.
Love, oh love, is sweet in the cupcake sort of way.
Love thinks cupcakes are disgusting.
Love is a cheater like that friend who always tries to look at your cards.
Love is the end of a French film, confusing and unsatisfying.
Love doesn't have subtitles.
Love and the wind cry Mary.
In the dark night in a jungle of love, oh how the kookaburras sing.

Ah Hah! Monday I bested you.

Monday you are a weak dragon. No match for the shiny armor of a fearless warrior hippie first year teacher dragon slayer. I stared your firey nostrils down, I gazed upon your scaly Monday Dragon skin, I clenched my white board markers tightly and thrust them into the center of your Monday heart. Alas you fell, I bested you Monday beast. Your large winged mass shuttered before me on the ground, your now limp wings able to flap no more!

Now a nimble and more cunning foe awaits, the Tuesday troll. His poison is more subtle. His deception more witty. His breath not so firey but still rather rancid...I'm getting off track here, Tuesday I will best your trolls tricks tomorrow. I say "Bring it Tuesday, just try me, I got a mouth full of Monday Dragon blood and it tastes good."



Don't ask me what the hell I am thinking as I write this, having a good Monday came with a cost...my sanity. But let's continue the odd semi-fantasy theme for the week and see what we can come up with eh?

Artist and Phrase of the Week

The artist of the week was an easy pick

The Velvet Underground: All albums all songs.
I just finished an awesome documentary on them and now I'm listening to them. And, I got a letter from an old friend reminding me of special times that included Velvet supplying the soundtrack. Make sure to include them in your weekly plans if at all possible. Oldy but goody.

Phrase of the week is going to go to "Holy Crow"
When something mildly shocking happens (something that would shock a grandmother) simply utter "HOLY CROW" as your 75 year old heart races. Also can be used in a tone of disgust at the mischief of "youngins."

I'm the PotLuck iest boy alive

After an entire weekend of sleeping, two potlucks, 4 football games, a very long trip to the post office, 2 trips to the store, 3 Netflix movies and no teaching I think I have built my strength enough to return to school once again.
They switched the time on us again too. What's up with that? I'm not going to complain all to much this time because I get more seep tomorrow morning. It just goes to show you what an artificial thing time is. We can just change it. The whole reason for the time switch was for factories and preventing night bombing right? We should just leave it maybe. We should however institute a rule that states that we will change the clocks periodically so that we can be awake in the daylight more whatever time of year it is. I don't know if that makes sense...I just finished a TheraFlu and those things make me kinda loopy. I promise I will make this blog more interesting, I just need to get inspired somehow.

"I need life" Round Two

I just sent out 7 more "I Need Life" albums to various people. They take a while to get out but if you request it, it will come. The next album "A Whisper Wind" is coming along much slower but I hope to finish before Christmas.
I'm going to go back to maximum vegetative state until this evening. I'm pooped.

Mostly Freely

In the night far away
The light shines dimly.
The snow falls
And a man is alone.
Tired and dry
Home again.
He makes the trip
Through the shutdown black
Towards the day
Just ahead.
Eyes red when awakened.
Not enough rest again.
That is truly the point
Of the coming weeks end.
His spirit somehow lifts.
His body somehow starts
His mind somehow tags along.
Then they come.
The young energy appliances.
They suck the volts
From his sockets.
It flows, mostly freely,
Always without relent.
Until he is dry.
He must always go
Home again.